Broken remains of exo

Chapter 16

I woke up to the terrifying but sadly familiar sound of Baekhyun screaming.Probably nightmares,flashbacks.He was having another panic attack.I sat up in bed,dazed and scared,not knowing what to do.I heard Suho running down the corridor to the bathroom and talking to Chanyeol about what to do as Baekhyun ejected his guts out into the tolilet.At this point i was crying hysterically,scared,choking on sobs.I heard Kyungsoo quietly enter my room,lie down beside me and pull me into a tight back hug,rubbing my arms soothingly trying to get me to relax and stop shaking.I heard Suho calling Yixing over,saying that Baekhyun has passed out.Chanyeol was worried sick and he started telling in frustration and hoplessness and Suho had no choice but to kick him out of the bathroom,while Yixing presumably did the whole first aid thing on Baekhyun,he was really good at it.None of us slept well that night.

Kyungsoo was sent to the shop to buy medicine for Baekhyun and Kai,thankfully this pharmacy was a 24 hours one,while i got transfered to Chens bed,while he whispered me some stories into my ear to distract me and gently rubbed my back.Xiumin was still asleep,lucky guy.Chen was doing alright also,the rest were all trying to help Baekhyun and Kai got a bit of a fever also but luckily it wasnt as bad as it usually was.Poor Baekhyun,we are all affected when he gets anxiety attacks,mostly because he requires a lot of attention as it is hard to help him when hes like that.He finally calmed down in the early hours of the morning,thankfully.We were all exhaused with little to no sleep that night,but Baek was the worst.He fell asleep in the early morning and our activities were delayed that morning so we got time to catch up on the lost sleep.

But it got worse as time went on..
Night in and night out,Baekhyuns panic attacks started getting more frequent again.they have never been this bad before and the medicine didnt seem to be helping much.We were due to fly to China tomorrow for our concert,recording and interviews,and we were all worried about what will happen.Late evening the next day,when we were let off for the afternoon to go pack and get ready but we couldnt find Baekhyun anywhere in the building.When we got home and found him writhing around the floor in despiration and agony,covered in sweat and barely breathing.We got him to the hospital straight away and it turned out that Baekhyun couldnt travel to Shanghai with us at all.Thankfully the company let him stay.We had to go,so we got a very trusted friend of our manager,who was a staff member to take good care of him.He got better in the next 24 hours and got well taken care of in the hospital.He called us up and announced that he will be flying in soon and should be able to meet us before the concert in Beijing in a few days.We were all relieved that he got better and thanked our staff repeatedly for taking care of him.
What we couldnt predict was that this was just the beginning of a whole string of bad events and tough nights to come.Soon after Baekhyun was with us and better,i was the one who started getting bad.Most nights for the next month i got horrifying and very graphic nightmares and childhood memories of abuse and bullying.I would wake up screaming but sometimes i was just paralysed in fear.I slept in Yixings bed with him because he was a light sleeper and everytime i got sleep paralysis or nightmares he would know and he would wake me up and comfort me.I was then on double the amount of medication,putting more pressure on Suho since he kept track of our conditions and medication and making the members more worried and stressed.The worst of all this was pretending in front of the company and fans that were doing alright,it was really hard to stand on stage smiling while i was falling apart inside,wearing more clothes so we look a healthy size,having twice the amount of makeup caked on my face to cover up our eyebags and sickly pale,tired faces..

I havent updated for ages!sorry about that!i hope you all had a good new years
Prelare for some more anst in the next chapter
Until then ~Byun BAEkhyun^.^~