Forever Dead

Forever Dead ::11:: Not so bad....after all

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I sat soaking in the tub, my hair wrapped in a towel so not to get wet. I stared at the ceiling, slowing running a washcloth up and down my arms. I couldn’t close my eyes; every time I did I saw her face. I would see the back of my eyelids and suddenly, it changed and 7 was staring at me.

I groaned and slid in the water, rinsing off the suds. This was ridiculous. I shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. I didn’t force her to sleep with Nicholai; I didn’t slip her poison…or whatever it was that killed her. I had tried to help her, but I failed.

I sighed and stood, feeling the luke warm water slide down my body and into the tub. I heard a knock on the door.

“10?” Macy’s voice called.

“Yeah?” I wrapped a towel around my body.

“I wanted to help you get ready… if you want me, that is. I feel really bad about this morning.” Her muffled voice replied. I wiped the fog off the mirror and stared into my eyes, remembering how we had dressed ourselves for nights out to the movies, hoping that a boy would notice and sweep us off our feet.

“Sure. Let me just finish up in here.” I wet my toothbrush and started brushing, trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth. It killed me that I was actually putting an effort into looking nice…for him. But I had given my word, and that was the most valuable thing I owned.

I opened the door to see Ro, 6 and Macy sitting on the beds.

“Oh, party!” I said sarcastically.

“Come on, it’ll be like old times! And… look what I got.” Macy said, pulling out and old TLC Cd from behind her back.

“Where’d you get that?” I asked, taking the case.

“I have my ways. And I also begged Lucia to get it. Did you know they have a music library downstairs?” she said, popping the cd into the radio. No Scrubs came on and I started to laugh at the goofy dancing Macy did.

“I love this song!” 6 said, dancing with Macy. This was the most animated I had ever seen her. I looked over at Ro, who was sitting on my bed, hands in her lap and eyes down.

“Ro, what’s wrong?” I asked, using her nickname. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

“I just can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t want to die like that. At first, I was kind of attracted to Nicholai, but I’m not ready to die 10.” She said, wrapping her arms around me. She sobbed and I held her.

“Listen to me. Just keep your distance. Nicholai may be many things, but I don’t think he’s a rapist.” I said, not even believing my own words. “So if you say no, then you’ll be fine.” She nodded her head. I felt myself being pulled up and Ro as well, being turned around in a circle dancing to the music.

“Okay, no more sad faces! We are living in a palace for goodness sakes!” Macy said. I laughed along with her and nodded my head.

“So, what are you going to wear?” She asked, eyeing the closet. I shrugged my shoulders.

“What do you think? I am leaving entirely up to you girls.” I said, sitting back down. They all looked at each other, evil grins spreading like wildfire. Just as they dashed into the closet I yelled out “Nothing slutty!” They just laughed and I hummed along with ‘Silly Ho’.