LEXA'S POV
I sat next to the flowing stream, collecting the cold water in my canteen. The sun was hidden by the thick clouds, making the temperature drop dramatically. Cold had taken over my body as I placed some of the water on the wounds which were becoming infected again. Night was coming closer and closer, making it even colder than it was originally.
I pulled my knees into my chest and leaned against a large rock. I'd have to preserve all of my heat if I wanted to keep warm through the night. Nobody would take me in anymore. I lost everything.
Around the bend of the stream, I saw Nyko who came towards me holding a sack. He came to me earlier, letting me know he wanted to give me supplies later.
"A blanket and new knife." He said, dropping the sack in front of me as he approached.
"Thank you" I whispered, looking away. I watched him sit down next to me and sip from his canteen.
"I would have brought more supplies but people would have noticed things missing" Nyko spoke after noticing my silence.
"Why do you bother risking yourself to help me? If you get caught Indra will kill you"
"Sometimes I do not agree with her commands"
"You helped her the day in the forest" I said sharply.
"I didn't have a choice. I am sorry. I never meant to do that to you and Clarke."
I looked down at the rocks, feeling the anger bubble in my chest.
"Raven wishes to speak with you" He announced, realizing I was hurt.
"Where is she?"
"Come with me" He said, getting up and offering me a hand.
-----
Nyko led me deep into the forest, away from the familiar scenes. After an hour of walking we reached a cluster of fallen trees. Perched up on one, sat Raven with a gun clutched close to her chest.
"What do you want?" I called out, not wanting to go any closer to her.
"Come here I'm not going to shoot you. I just want to talk" She called back. I watched as she placed the gun down and held up her hands, showing me that she meant no harm.
I walked closer to her and sat down on the fallen tree next to her.
"What's this about?" I asked sternly.
"I wanted to know how you are doing."
"I'm fine."
"Really? Cause it doesn't look like it." She said skeptically, pointing to the wounds I was clutching.
"Something tells me you didn't come all this way to ask me about my health." I skeptically said back.
She adjusted her position on the decaying tree and took a deep breath.
"I thought you might want to hear about Clarke."
"Why would I want to hear about Clarke?" I asked feeling the anger to bubble inside me again.
"I just thought-"
"You thought wrong" I broke her off, giving her a piercing glare.
"Fine. I know you care Lexa. Once you realize that, don't bother asking about Clarke." Raven snapped, getting up and reaching for her bag.
"Wait." I whispered, throwing my head back and closing my eyes, bracing myself. "How is she?"
I watched as a light smile spread across her lips as she sat back down.
"I think she was in denial at first. Once she processed that, it was just like a regular breakup." Her smile faded and she swallowed hard. "But then things started to get off. She started acting like she had when Finn died. It's odd Lexa...how you could do something like that to her. It was almost like you had died."
I closed my eyes again, remembering how I felt when Costia died. The feeling was awful. Like the whole world was sitting on my chest.
"But she passed it quickly" Raven continued. "A few days later it was like nothing happened but, at the same time you could tell something was wrong. She was a whole different person."
"How is she now?" I asked, feeling fairly guilty.
"I don't know. She went out with Bellamy last night to hunt and talk. I haven't seen her since."
I let out a huff of air and gripped the log so hard my knuckles were going white.
"I know you lost something when Clarke chose her people over you but, if you really did die, Clarke would have too. Nothing could be worse than what she went through already." Raven whispered after a long silence.
Her words felt like needles in my chest.
"Thank you Raven. I can't hear anymore."
Before I could get up, Raven caught my arm and sat me back down.
"You are just going to leave?" She asked, an annoyed tone hinted in her words.
"It hasn't been easy for me either."
"Oh, but it has. Certainly compared to Clarke"
"I was in Clarkes' position once. Except she died. I think I know how she feels. But that's why I won't do anything. Returning to her would break her down even more." I felt my voice soften as I spoke.
"You don't understand Lexa! Clarke needs you. And our people need Clarke which is why I'm here. Why can't you just get that she needs you to be herself?"
Her words took be aback and a knot formed at the back of my throat. Swallowing was becoming painful.
"I cut you. I am the reason why your friend is dead. I have put you through so much...Why help me?"
"I'm not helping you Lexa. I'm helping my people."
