Chapter 10 - Dear Diary

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The lights was shining through the window, my head pounding. I hated alcohol, If we didn't play that stupid game that would never have happened. I opened my eyes, my stomach hurting and my head pounding. I saw two aspirins and a glass of water with a note next to it .

Hey Lily. I'm off to the studio, Eleanor went to the mall. I'll be back at 5, the aspirins are for you. For your hangover, you drank a lot yesterday. I do remember about that kiss though, I hope we'll do that more often love. Sad thing that you were wasted and all.over.me. Anyways, have a lovely day dear.xx

-Harry

I rolled my eyes at his choice of words and at the letter in general, typical Harry. I was imagining him smirking with his beautiful, full lips.. Wait. What was I thinking? What is wrong with me? Must think of something else.

Mission impossible.

I got up, and went straight to the bathroom. Pictures plastered on the mirror, why didn't I see it before? They were pictures that we took yesterday, he must have printed them early this morning I thought. A picture of me and Eleanor was there, Louis and Harry on another smiling and one with all of us huge grins on our face. Except for Louis who was pouting, I wonder what was that about. There's another picture, it was Harry and I. I was grinning at the camera and Harry was looking down at me.

His arm was around my waist, he seemed happy and I looked happy too. I sighed, this would be so different in another situation. I sighed and got into the shower, the hot water running down. I felt myself relax 30 minutes later as I got out. I blow-dried my hair but it stayed it's frizzy itself.

I put some mascara on, a bit of lipstick and some eyeliner. I wasn't a big fan of foundation, anyway I have nothing to hide. Even though I am not the prettiest girl in the world, I have no zits and my skin is almost near perfect. I went into Eleanor's wardrobe to find some clothes that could fit me. I took a black pair of skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt and pink converses. I'm kind of a jean and a t-shirt type of person, I'm not the dress with heels type.

I wanted to go down the stairs and make myself lunch since I woke up too late for breakfast but something stopped me. Harry's computer. I know I shouldn't look at other people stuff but the computer was opened and I was curious. What was the famous Harry Edward Styles hiding in his computer. I sat on my bed and I put the laptop on my knees. I opened it, the background was a picture of him, Louis and I. How sweet.

I went into his documents and saw unfinished songs, memos and a document called Diary. I didn't opened it, even though that I was really curious. Diaries were really personal, I couldn't invade his privacy or could I..? I breathed in, opened the folder and saw his last entry.

Dear diary,

It probably sound stupid because I kidnapped Lily but I feel an attraction towards her. Not sexual or anything, even though if she'd ask I could take her in my bed... I think that I might be in love with her...

My breath hitched in my throat, was this real? Maybe he knew that I'd look through it and wanted to make a joke? That was hard work for something that was a joke and even though he had a cheeky and flirty behaviour, he didn't seem the type to make believe people that he was in love with them. Should I continue reading it? I should. I want to know what he thinks, how he feels about me.

I know that she doesn't feel the same way. Why would she? I kidnapped her and now she's stuck to play my girlfriend... forever. Because of me she will never have a family with someone that she'll love, she'll never marry her one true love because I stole everything from her. I can't screw up my mates lives though.. We worked so hard for this, I can't ruin it just because I made a foolish mistake. I love her alright but like Louis says it is what it is. I can't change anything, my feelings for her too strong now and my career is doing great.

I don't know why I'm writing this Diary, this is stupid. I'll probably delete it after we go to the studio. I kissed her yesterday, it felt like magic. Fireworks erupted everywhere around me, I hope that she felt the same thing but that would be an hopeless dream.

'Don't let me go, because I'm tired of feeling alone...'

I think that's what represents best my situation right now. Anyway, I have to leave her some aspirins and print some pictures. You don't care, do you?

Harry. (Written on Monday morning)

I felt tears in my eyes, he thought all of that about me? I can't believe it, do I feel something for him? I don't know. I felt those fireworks though, his smile, the way he laughs while passing his hand in his hair. The way he always has something more cheeky to had to any conversation but also how he can make you feel like you're the only person in the world. I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot to check the time, as I lowered my eyes to look at the time I heard the door opened.

In the doorway was standing Harry, first his eyes were clear but then seeing what I was doing; his eyes darkened. I saw his fist clenched and I was starting to get scared, I know that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me but the look on his eyes told me otherwise. I went to opened my mouth but my words didn't flow fast enough as I heard Harry's loud and angry voice resonate around the room.

'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?'

He was definitely angry, walking towards me. My breath getting faster, when he saw the document that was opened on his computer his face fell down. His brows became furrowed and then I thought I saw him ashamed. The only reaction that he had was close his laptop roughly, take it under his arms and walk through the door. Slamming it so everyone could hear, the only voice left in the room was mine.

'I'm sorry Harry, don't let me here. '

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Hello! I hope you liked this chapter, this story hit 1.1K ! Thank you for that! So vote, comment and add to your library please? (: More there is votes, the more I'll update faster!

I have other stories that are currently in the works so please, check them out (: Also, I lost one of my idol this week so...lots of love for him.

R.I.P Cory Monteith. I love you x

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