Recovery (GOT7 fanfic)

Would You Miss Me?

"You didn't get the bus home with us again," Yugyeom muttered, as I stepped into the apartment. A faint, giddy smile was still on my face from earlier, and he noticed.

"You were with Junior, weren't you," He sighed. I nodded.

I shut the front door gently and sat next to him on the sofa. "How's Bambamie?" I asked.

"Good. I hope. He's in his room," He pointed up the stairs.

"Okay," 

That was one of the shortest and most uncomfortable conversations I had ever had with Yugyeom. He didn't want to be involved in any small talk, he wanted to ask questions and get answers.

"Just spit it out," I rolled my eyes and nudged him playfully. 

He scooted away from me. "Why do you like him so much? Why's he different?" Yugyeom sighed and rubbed his neck with his hands.

I frowned at him and pulled my knees to my chest. I said nothing. He huffed and stood up. "Hey, wait a sec," I said, tugging him back down. He flopped and hugged a cushion. 

"It's so fucking perfect. For everyone but me," He scoffed.

"What the hell are you talking about Yugyeom?" I frowned again. He was looking at me so intensely that I had to turn away. He got up again, and this time, I left him to go. He paced two lengths of the room, before taking a deep breath. 

"You're in love with him already," He sounded deflated. He let his arms hang loose by his sides. 

I leaned back into the sofa and shook my head. "Don't be stupid," I chuckled. I wasn't sure of what I was saying anymore. Words were flying out of my mouth unprocessed, without thoughts. I broke the one rule; think before you speak. 

"Don't be naive," He retorted sharply. 

I opened my mouth to say something, but I just took another breath of air instead. We were in silence for a while. He was scanning my face for some kind of reaction, maybe a 'eureka' moment, but I had nothing. I was too confused.

"I'm happy for you. Really," Yugyeom wasn't being convincing, but I nodded, accepting whatever he wanted to say. "It just pisses me off that after all I've done for you, and all he's done for you. It doesn't even compare," 

"Yugyeom, I..." I lost my train of thought yet again.

He cut me off. "Come here," He huffed, and opened his arms to me. 

I finally faced him again, to see a fake smile plastered on his face. I felt like I had been shot. I felt guilty. He rested his chin on my shoulder and sighed loudly. It was as if I was having my first break-up when we weren't in a relationship in the first place. It was just one of those odd situations.

One final breath and he was gone. "Goodnight," He said.

I got up extra early the next day just to avoid seeing Yugyeom and Bambam. Even though there are no earlier buses, I still got up and walked to school instead. I can't remember the last time I could walk through a corridor without getting glared at, or laughed at. Now, it was peaceful, and empty. It was perfect.

I organised my books in my locker and took out the textbook I needed for my first lesson. School was becoming repetitive again, which also made it boring. I couldn't wait to leave this place and get it all over and done with.

I grabbed a reading book out of the school library and sat down in the cafeteria. I took a deep breath. Everything was so much nicer when it's quiet and not so crowded. I sat and began reading, waiting for time to pass. I had just finished my first chapter when I saw someone sit next to me out of my peripheral vision.

"Um.. Hey," She whispered.

"Soomin?" I frowned in confusion. It was my first time seeing her without being surrounded by all her friends. I couldn't help but notice how little make-up she was wearing in comparison to her usual appearance, and I knew from that dull look in her eyes that something was wrong. And plus, only people with problems came to school this early in the morning.

"Could I.. ask you something? For some advice?"

My eyes widened and I smiled lightly at being asked for advice. She mustn't be aware of my past year. Maybe I had accomplished the impossible, and seemed like I was getting better. Or maybe I was getting better. Let's not be too optimistic. I put down my book and swivelled around in my seat to face her properly. "Sure," I nodded, paying full attention to her.

"What would you do if someone asked you to do something, but you didn't want to do it? Would you do it anyway? Or, how would you say no?" Her eyes darted around the room, focusing on different things, but never on me.

"Uh.. I guess you would just have to say it. Say no. I know it won't be easy to say," I said. Soomin looked at the table despairingly. She was tearing up. "Hey, what is it?" I leaned forward, but that just caused her to cry.

I desperately looked to my left and right, hoping that Jackson, or someone she knew well would miraculously show up to help comfort her. All our friendship consisted of was some old bullying and a bottle of vodka. I pulled her into a hug anyway; crying was perhaps the only thing that could drive me to hug someone. She sniffled into my shirt and suddenly jerked away, flashing a fake smile.

"I'm fine, it's fine, um, sorry," Soomin muttered. "Can I ask one more thing?"

"Of course," I sighed. I was officially concerned about her now. The 'I'm fine' act had just begun for her.

"You and Jinyoung are dating, right?" 

I nodded.

"Jinyoung hasn't.. uh, asked you to do anything, has he?" She glanced up at me nervously with doe eyes.

I frowned and shook my head. "No,"

"Oh," She sighed and hung her head down again. I was tempted to leave our conversation there, but something more was wrong, and I couldn't walk away like that. It would be cruel.

"Why? Who asked you to do something?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then bit her lip harshly. "...I'm just so ashamed,"

"Trust me, I know the feeling," I scoffed, but smiled sympathetically. She looked away again.

"Was it Jinyoung?" I guessed. She shook her head.

"Jackson?"

Second guess lucky. Soomin just looked at me as another tear rolled down her cheek. I sighed and rubbed her back. "You can hang out with me, Yugyeom, Bambam, and uh, Jinyoung today," I suggested. It was the only thing I could say to her.

"Thanks," She replied meekly, with a faint smile.

As the day went by, the only interactions between Soomin and Jackson were glances. Maybe it was better if they didn't talk it out at school. She seemed pretty upset, and he seemed pretty pissed off. Not a great combo. 

Soomin had lunch with me today, just as I promised her. She was already feeling better, cracking jokes, and laughing with a wide, natural smile. I think she was even making Bambamie feel better, and I just knew I was going to tease him about it later. Seeing everyone reasonably happy was.. awesome. It felt like the puzzle pieces fit together. We were all sat around one table in the cafeteria, although I came reluctantly, after being persuaded by the others. Just Soomin, Bambam, Jinyoung, Yugyeom, and I. And we were laughing together, talking together... It amazed me how it was all so easy.