Little Things

Pain

I wake up every day now

feeling deep regret

for not staying up and

talking to you

I go to sleep every night now

full of wishes

that you were next to me

instead of so far away

And all through the day I feel alone,

trapped inside this box that has become

my life forever suffocating

in what I've grown used to

Sometimes a breeze will

blow through and

I will feel refreshed

but that freedom is always taken away.

When I cannot sleep

I become aware of all the tears

resting behind my eyes and the

anxiety that things are not going right

And when I tell you I love you,

know that it's always true

but when I tell you I'm good

it's not the same good as when I was with you

I feel the distance growing

but our hopes getting stronger

and I don't know whether to worry that we will say goodbye

or to keep believing in what we have.

I still get sad about things that don't matter,

I still think about the past

and I worry about what you're doing

because you don't tell me all about your life

I know I'm silly, needy, and

younger than you

but all of these emotions

are eating me inside

And there's so much going on

So I play our songs

my heart beats in time with their base

and I remember everything..

If I could just

give you these poems

without scaring you

because I have so many feelings

I want to know

every thought that passes

through your mind

that I have fallen in love with

I want to hear your voice

and I want to sing

horribly off tune

with you

Because you make me happier than

anyone has ever before

and I get scared when you get emotional

that you will say goodbye to me

And break all of our promises,

they all said it wouldn't work

I'd wonder why I didn't listen,

my empty heart would cry for weeks.

But not now,

not now we are

so close to

where we want to be

I believe,

I sing along to our songs

this pain will end

we can apply ice and pressure when we see each other again.

But no,

you say

it's not happening

and I say

Alright

because that's the thing

about

pain.