Shoot and Score My Ass

Dylan's douchebag ways

Hope you enjoy :)

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"No, I love you more."

I almost slap my face. Oh, please.

I watch as this girl, Jane, continues to chat with her boyfriend, whoever the hell he is. They've been saying 'goodbye' for the past ten minutes. It's been the same.

"I love you, baby." Then, "No way, I love you more than you can imagine." And then, "Shut up! I love you so much, baby, it hurts."

Gag me.

This is my last resort in this hell of the party. Don't get me wrong, Jane was great. We sat on the couches an hour ago, safely away from anywhere close to Dylan, and just talked about crap. Luckily my awkwardness didn't kick in too much. But then her boyfriend came and ruined the party. He called to say he was going to bed (this early? Please) and that he wanted to hear her voice.

Cheesy.

"Okay, seriously. Bye, baby. Call me when you wake up." She giggles after waiting. "Of course not, honey! It's okay if you wake me up, I'll be able to hear your voice."

How completely stupid. I'd go ballistic on anyone who woke me up 'just to hear my voice'. They'd hear my voice alright, me screaming the shit out of them.

"Uh huh. I'll miss you," she says, giggles one last time and then hangs up, sighing. "Isn't he great?" she asks me, smiling.

No. "Yeah."

Okay, fine, they're in love. I shouldn't be so mean. But still. I bet the guy really isn't going to bed, I bet he just wanted to annoy me.

Yeah, that's pretty stupid. He probably doesn't even know me. How the hell is he supposed to know his girlfriend is chatting with a socially awkward girl who's trying to avoid the town's hottest guy?

She sighs again and smiles at her phone. "I can't wait till he wakes up, I wanna hear his voice again."

Maybe she shouldn't have picked up the phone and she could reply his voicemail again and again.

"Oh, um, yeah." I sigh.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" she asks, tilting her head to the side a little.

I almost burst into laughter. "Oh no, I'm not that kind of girl-"

"Parkers! You're here! Good, I finally found you."

I cringe. Crap, why is he following me? And why's he so desperate to talk to me? Sure, I make a fool out of myself and he has a sick sense of amusement, but can't he find something else to entertain him?

"Dylan!" Jane gasps and stares openly at him. Jeez, I thought she had a boyfriend.

"Hi, uh-" Dylan stutters, rubbing his neck.

"I'm Jane."

"Right, Jane, of course." He turns to me. "Why do you keep running away from me?"

"Why do you keep following me?" I ask before I can really think.

"Because Josh is currently being a jackass, his sister is annoying as shit and I already slept with her-"

"Of course you did."

"-the rest of the boys are trying to push each other into the pool, the adults are kinda boring to talk to and there's this seven year old girl who keeps stalking me and asking me whether or not I can see fairies."

"Ah, so now you know how it feels. And her name's Kimmy."

"Kimmy."

"Uh huh. I suffered her wrath and now it's your turn."