enough // b. bennett

February 28th

I haven't been seeing a lot of Beau lately. His practices and team bonding has become more intense, I guess the word would be. I would talk to him, he would come over for a little, we would have sex, and then we were done. He would leave and I felt like I was the other girl again. Except, he would just leave. There was no sneaking me out of the apartment.

It was a load of bull, but honestly I don't have the energy to pick a fight. He, however, had more than enough and didn't bother to show it.

We went to a steakhouse for dinner with some of his teammates. I didn't think it was going to be that bad, but he was on edge and I couldn't get enough alcohol in my system to take their jokes. It was all in good fun, but I was upset about the way I've been practicing lately. I didn't want to lose my role or anything. Lord knows I'm into politics, but I do not have the personality to become a politician. My degree was almost worthless.

Almost.

I was over at his place after we went to dinner. Olli was in his room, getting ready to sleep. We were in the next room, trying not to scream at each other. Trying, but not succeeding.

His eyes were tired, contradicting everything he said. Of course, I didn't want to go home with him pissed at me. He would only call and possibly come over. Because fighting isn't the same over the phone, according to him.

"You don't seem to care anymore." I sighed, waiting for him to go on about whatever was pissing him off. "You never want to hang out. You're always at the studio. You never call me back."

This went on for a while. I just sat there and nodded my head until he was finished, "You good, Beau?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. Okay, so I don't expect a whole lot. Just a whole lot of love, Beau. I don't care that you're a fucking hockey player because guess what? I'm the lead in my company. I don't care about the money, I care about the little things. I care about the texts in the mornings and the forehead kisses and you asking me how I've been. Beau, I want to know that you care for me and are actually serious about us. Because if you aren't, I have better things to think about." I was almost whispering by the time I stopped speaking.

I didn't want him to go, but I think it would be for the best. Leave before you get hurt, right?

But what if it was already to late for that? Was I already in too deep?

Well, they say sometimes staying is worse than leaving.