enough // b. bennett

December 12th

It was the opening night of the Nutcracker. I was nervous to say the least. We had four shows this weekend and four shows the next, all sold out. I got my parents tickets to next Sunday's matinee. Our final show.

I prayed that I could make it that long.

I puked up my dinner. Not on purpose. It was nerves.

"You look white. Get more makeup on this poor girl." The director said. Because I was sick, I didn't get talked to, only around.

I wasn't even sick, just nervous.

But not as nervous as the crew.

Afterwards I was given bouquets and congratulated by my best friends for performing my first major show as a lead.

My heart dropped as I got a message when I was crawling into bed.

You told me you danced, but you never said you were that good.

Not that good. Not good enough to make principle.

What does he care anyway? And why was he at the show.

My girlfriend wanted to go tonight.

I turned off my phone, ignoring Beau. Only I couldn't sleep without finishing the conversation.

I knew he was laying in bed next to his girlfriend, who was probably asleep and he was probably lying about who he texted if she asked.

"It's one of the guys"

Sure it is, Beau. Sure it is.

I'm just one of the guys you sleep with while she's not around. Just someone you fuck with occasionally. Maybe attempt to get to know every three times we sleep together.

But sure, I'm "just one of the guys".

He doesn't even realize what he's doing to her. Going behind her back, unhappy that he has to be alone all these nights, something that he definitely should have thought of before he decided to date a girl that lives in California.

You'll make principle someday.

Or, or maybe move her out here. If he won't break up with her, he's obviously in love with her enough to live with her.

Beau stop acting like you know me.

Ahh, but then he wouldn't be cheating on her. See, his logic is all flawed. All of it. Maybe he should stop while he's ahead.

What if I want to get to know you?

Or not that behind?

You have a girlfriend. Get to know her. Maybe stop cheating on her. You should be sleeping right next to her right now, not texting me.

Stop. Just, stop.

She's not you though.

Then why the fuck are you dating her? Huh? If you want me, leave her. I refuse to be the other girl.

Just give me until after I go home for Christmas.

I will give you forever because once a cheater, always a cheater.

And that's how I convinced Beau Bennett to break up with his girlfriend.

Unintentionally.

At least he wasn't going to be unfaithful to her any more. That was a plus, I guess.

I still can't believe I let this go on for as long as I did. I feel horrible.