*2 months later*
Tonight was Lukes funeral. I didn’t want this day to come. I have cried every day and night since his death. I was failing everything at school. I was always tired from not getting enough sleep. I had been diagnosed with depression. Everything reminded me of Luke. I haven’t spoke to anyone. I sat in my room all day looking a photos of us two together when I got home from school. At school I would hide in the library and cry. Nobody knew what I was going through. Except Jai, Beau and Gina. I wouldn’t be able to see his face anymore or his perfect smile. I missed him so much. I was slowly dying on the inside and nobody could do anything about it. I have went to 11 theropists in total but it didn’t have any effect on me. I went to Lukes grave everyday and brought him one of his beanies everyday. I would sit there for hours just thinking about if he had lived. We could be at home cuddling and being cute together but we can never do that again. He was gone.
"get ready" My mother said through my door.
I didn’t reply to her. I slipped on Lukes favourite dress which was a short black dress. I added a silver necklace and put my black flats. I wore no make-up and wore my hair in a tight high ponytail. I put a black headband on to keep the loose strands of hair out of my face.
I smiled for the first time in 2 months as I twisted the ring Luke had given me for my birthday.
We went into the hall where the ceremony was going to take place. I sat at the front along with Gina, Jai, Beau, my mother, father and the boys nonna and nonno. While Tyla, James and Daniel sat behind us.
"Jai, Beau, Gina and Caitlyn would you like to come up here to say a few words?" The pastor had asked.
All four of us stood up and walked up on stage. Jai and Beau went first.
"Luke, we know we always fought with you and teased each other all the time but we are brothers and we miss you so much. We have decided not to do the Janoskians anymore or Daresundays because it wouldn’t be the same without you." Jai began.
"We love you Luke" Beau finished.
The boys started crying while they said their goodbyes to Luke.
Next was Gina. What she was saying was so heartfelt. I started crying listening to her words. She finished and said her goodbyes to Luke.
It was now my turn. I walked up to the microphone and wiped my eyes before speaking.
"To my loving boyfriend,
You were my life and my world. I don’t know how I’ll live without you. You were always there for me when I needed you. You were my one true love and I miss you. I cry every night looking through pictures and videos of you and us two together. I miss your smile, your laugh, your smartass comments. I miss the way you hugged and kissed me. Why did you have to leave me so quickly. Who am I supossed to go to when I need help or when I need cheering up? You are the love of my life and my life from now on is going to be rough. I’ll never forget you. I’ll never replace you, ever. Nobody can come as close as you. I’m never going to live my dream of our big wedding day or taking care of our children or growing old together. As soon as you left this world my world fell apart.
I stopped talking as tears dripped down my face. I looked at everyone their faces so down and glum. Tears filling everyone eyes.
"I’ll never replace you not in a million years why? because no one will ever make me more happy and feel more special then you did and most importantly I can’t love someone as much as I love you. I hope you’re up there in heaven looking over me. I know you’re not here with us anymore but you’ll always be with me in my heart" I croaked.
"I’ll love you forever and a day after that" I sobbed
I looked out towards the crowd of people gathered for Luke. Their tears glistened on their cheeks and made their eyes sparkle like a star.
I put the microphone down and ran outside and into the cemetary. I raced towards Lukes gravestone and sat there. It was dark outside and the moon was shining on the gravestone.
"I wish you were with me right now" I whispered to myself.
I closed my eyes and layed on the grass. Quietly sobbing into his beanies. It was quiet and peaceful till someone had coughed trying to get my attention. I sat up, wiped the tears off my cheeks and turned to face the person.
Luke.
