Troubled -A Part of Dark like Me.-

*35* Memory Of Love

Nighttime is the worst time for me. While some are sleeping soundly, others are wide-awake, like myself. Nighttime is when all of my issues come to my mind and causes restless nights. I hate it. Really, hate it. I listen to Lele's light snoring and Jax's heavy breathing, both of them sleeping, something I wish I can do now. I turn to the digital clock that reads; 6:13am. In the next few hours, two to be exact, I have to get up and get my vitals done. It is a Friday, so we have movie night tonight. Then on weekends, it is a free day. Meaning the most privileged patients alone with the well-behaved get to go out to town with a few staff and shop for certain things they need. I am along with the well behaved despite my efforts to break up the fight between Lele and Meme that day.

I turn over and look out the window, the sun is peeking over the horizon. I have never seen a sunrise before but it really is pretty and breathtaking. My mind is still reeling with the fact that no one has made an effort to call or even come and visit me. It really does hurt my heart and my feelings. But, it just puts me in a deeper rut and mind set that my family nor so called friends care anything about me. I turn over and reach under my pillow, grabbing the journal Dr. Sophia gave to me and grabbed a pencil from the drawer of the nightstand. Turning to the first page and sitting up, I begin writing it in. All of my emotions from as far back as I can remember to now. I even write what happened between Felix and myself that one night and most recently incident.

In the middle of writing about my days at middle school, where my first relationship began, the alarm went off on the clock, as did the bell overhead. The bells in the morning are not as annoying as they are during the day. I welcome that. The morning bell is a soft ring but loud enough to wake everyone that can hear it up, but not to scare him or her awake. I have noticed some of the patients that are scared awake tend to be more aggressive or irritable.

Lele jumps down from the top bunk with a loud thump, scaring Jax awake. Lele stretches with a smile, "Good morning, Allyira and Jaxea."

I have been here for a good month now and I have not seen Lele so chipper before, it was unreal. It's kind of scary and plain weird, but I am glad that she is happy even if it is for some weird and unusual reason that I don't know about.

"Good morning, Lele. Why are you in a good mood?" I ask putting my journal away and getting ready for vitals.

"I just am. And I know what I am going to do about Keiron as well. He'll never see it coming." Lele says putting on the yoga pants I let her borrow. She doesn't have much clothes of her own and what clothes she does have are kind of outdated.

Jax shakes her head causing her curly brown hair to move, "This is too early to be getting up." She groans from the floor.

"Get use to it. Depending on the morning schedules, we sometimes get up a lot earlier." Lele taunts.

I smirk knowing that is only for the military brats in this place. They are still treated like patients but they get up earlier and go to bed earlier, because that is what they are used to from their military parents. Not something, I would want to do; the 8am is fine with me and on the weekends, we get to sleep until 9 or 10am. I am grateful.

"What are you going to do?" I ask Lele, my mind not registering what she said about Keiron.

"Yeah," Jax asks finally getting up and getting dressed. "After he busted you out yesterday."

Lele puts her shirt on, that is a secret. You'll either know by the end of the day or the week."

I widen my eyes not so sure, if I should be scared or happy. After the little spat she and Keiron had yesterday, I figured she would not want anything to do with him. But, I suppose she figured out what to do in her sleep; came to her in a dream.

Lele, Jax, and I line up at our door as the nurse checks our vitals one at a time. When she is finished, we go to the breakfast hall. For some reason, I am not feeling too hungry, so I grab a Fuji apple from the fruit table and sit at our usual table. I have a lot to think about, but when I start to think; I am interrupted by Shakur calling me from a corner. I look around, get up, and walk over to him.

"Why are you in the corner?" I ask him still holding my apple.

"I am hiding..." He looks around his 'hiding' spot, he is crouched down. Then stands up with s smirk, "Alright, I want to talk to you."

I tilt my head, "About what exactly?" I bite my apple and the sweet juices wakes my taste buds up. God, I love these apples.

"Meh," He covers his face with his hands. "Uh, it has to be in private, though."

I can feel my brow furrow, wondering what he wanted to possibly tell me in private. "Alright?"

"Around movie time or when free time comes around I want you to meet me in the garden."

I nod my head. "But, why can't you just tell me now?"

"Too many ears."

I look around at everyone doing their own thing, then back at Shakur.

"Okay then. It's just something I rather talk to you about without the ears of an audience." He confesses.

"That's fine. Are you going to sit at the table with us?" I ask throwing the apple core away.

"I don't think I will. Do you want me to?"

I arch my eyebrow wondering what his issue could be. He is acting very odd as if he is trying to flirt or be flirtatious. If he is then I am very flattered if not....then it is nice to think he is even though he possibly is not.

"Yes, I do want you to sit with us."

He pulls a half smile that I have never seen before from him. Okay, I think to myself as he follows me to our table. He sits close to me but not too close that it would get us in trouble. It is enough to let me know he is there. I look up and see Keiron shaking with laughter, it is clear that he knows what is going on. I would love to know what is going on myself.

"How is everyone?" Lele asks.

"I am good." Meme answers.

"Fine." Jaxea says.

"Great." Keiron answers biting into his bacon.

"Alright." Shakur answers smiling.

"That's good." Lele says drinking her orange juice.

I blink not liking what is going on, whatever the heck is going on around this table. I stand up, "I am going to go to my therapy session." This is getting to be a bit too much for me.

"But, it's a little early, don't you think?" Jaxea checks her watch.

"Get things to discuss with her." I answer and leave the weird vibe behind. I trail to Dr. Axel's office.