I drove for what felt like days but was actually a mere three hours. I drove until my eyes were watering so bad that the world was swimming. My eyelids felt like heavy curtains and my fingers on my right hand were frozen and numbing over from being so close to the running AC. I make it all worse, I still couldn't bring myself to cry despite it all. My eyes glossed up, yet nothing spilled over. It simply refused.
When I parked my car, I also checked my phone, and of course my mom was worrying. She asked what he did, meaning Austin.
What did he do? Did she need to kill him? Was I safe? Why did I even care about him? What was going on?
A torrential rain of questions that I only wish I could answer.
"Hey mom. I'm okay. I'm taking a mental day tomorrow. I'll let Aaron know and he'll make sure I'm safe. Please let me have this"
She read my text but didn't reply, although shortly after, Aaron texted me asking where I was and I just knew it was her doing. I told him that I was at my favorite beach, 2 piers down from Huntington Pier, and I was glad that he would know exactly where I was and where to go. I put my phone away as I passed all of the families on the beach, and the little kids playing, making my way to the pier slowly. I finally reached the end and sat down, leaning against the wooden corner post. I loved this pier to death. I never went to any other at this beach unless we were hanging out on Huntington for a party, and I'd still visit this one. So I sat here on the wooden planks, letting the waves break against it and cover me with layers of salty spray.
As the evening set in, the families went ahead and took their young kids home, leaving the groups of young men to fool around in the surf before they went down to the main pier to get drunk.
Where I was sitting, I could see four of them jumping around and yelling. Splashing in the foam like children. It was about 8, I figured, and they would leave soon. A man sat at the end of the pier I was on, slightly to the left, and he was fishing. He had been fishing since I got there. He was just minding his own business, sitting quietly, catching nothing. So there I sat, watching his bobber get lost underneath the rolling waves. The bone at the base of my back prickled with a dull, tickling pain that I could barely feel due to numbness. It was getting dark and all that was left on the beach were kids toys and beer cans along with me and this dude fishing.
10 o'clock crept closer and closer with every break of a wave. I shifted to a different position that was more comfortable and less numbing and painful.
"So you like the ocean?" this guy turned slightly to ask me. I could barely see him, but he was quite skinny with dark hair. Facial hair. I hadn't seen his face before.
"Yes" came my quiet reply.
"Never seen you around"
"It's been a while" I kept my reply simple.
"Ah," he nodded. "how's your day been?" he spoke again after a moment's pause.
"My day? My day has been-"
"I was a teenager once. Don't lie to me" he interrupted not unkindly. His voice wasn't hostile, but it was, in a sense kind of dull. Bored. There was an undertone though, that made me want to tell him. Like he knew that I'd lie, but he really didn't want me to. It wasn't 'whats wrong?' or 'why are you upset?' or even 'why are you out so late?' He asked about my day, and for some reason that truly did ease my mind.
"Strange," I finally replied. "It's been strange. Strangely good. Strangely bad. Strangely confusing." I stared out across the vast expanse of dark water. "I have no clue how to break it down. Just strange." I finished with a nod.
"Hmm" he hummed thoughtfully. "Let's start here... Strange in what way?" He asked as if I could answer that. "Physical," he began as he wiggled his fingers at me in the darkness. "or mental" as he drew them to his temples dramatically.
"Mental" I answered firmly.
"Family? Relationship? School?" he began listing off a few things it could possibly be.
"Relationship" I nodded.
"Boy or girl?" he continued.
"Okay what is this, twenty questions?" I asked hesitantly. The discomfort must have leaked through my tone.
"No. It's me trying to help you out" he said calmly. "Boy?" he asked
"Yeah, it's a boy" I muttered.
A smile danced on the very edge of his lips, and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.
Silence coated the moist breeze and travelled along with it for quite some time. It was his reel that broke the peaceful quiet. It was a series of rough clicks and snaps and the steady twangy thrum of the line wrapping around the spool, and the little lever twisting. The hook had some ridiculous tackle attraction on it, but no fish and I watched as he hooked the hook onto one of the loops on the actual pole before setting it down behind him. He turned himself around completely, sitting cross cross on the pier, with his back straight as if practicing perfect posture.
"I'm Michael" he jumped back into the conversation as if he had never paused. "And I'd love to know about this boy."
"Alan" I said politely. "and I don't think you'll be able to help much" I said softly.
"Hey, you'd be surprised," he defended. "My best friend is gay. I've picked up on some stuff. Plus, us heteros are not that different" he winked, chuckling quietly.
"We met, and he uhm... Wasn't the kindest. But I pulled him out of his shell" I started slowly.
"Beautiful" he teased, waving me on.
"He broke up with me once, over not coming out to my dad, but he didn't understand that..." I talked and talked and talked. It was so easy to speak to someone that seemed to be actually listening that I just went on and on and on with every single detail and I swear it was almost midnight by the time I reached the present. But the entire time he listened to me, and he asked about things that confused him, and he cared. If he didn't, he sure was a good actor. He even shared some of his own girl problems with me, and we were able to relate to each other and it was like being in heaven. I told him what I'd done wrong most recently and how I thought that it was becoming our ultimate demise and his advice was the best I'd ever received.
How would anyone ever believe that I managed to get everything in my head realigned in a single night. Aaron didn't, when he showed up. He was wary of Michael but relaxed a bit after a while since I was so mellow and happy.
Michael didn't go home that night. That morning. We sat, letting the sun slip back above the horizon, and we talked about anything and everything.
As we watched the sunrise, Aaron even steered us to the topic of why the sun rose every day. We took science out f the equation, and replaced it with personal philosophical sounding fragments.
It rose in the morning because it had a job to do. That job was to remind us of a new day, a new chance. It rose to chase the shadows from the edges of our minds, and to try and keep them under control, and drive them away to the corners of the universe. It reminds us that we can live, and love, and that neither of those can always elude us in our search.
"Don't let him elude you."
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful FxckingBrendon *insert kissy face emoji*
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Broken, Imperfect
Fanfiction*COMPLETED*BOOK 1* Alan knows how it feels to be bullied. He was the target of Ben and Danny for two years until he became friends with Aaron, Phil, and Tino. That's when things changed and now he's as average as it gets. Austin was the new kid thi...
