Broken, Imperfect

Chapter 16

Everything was dark, and I was running. Just running. All around me were distorted, deep purple and midnight blue hues. They seemed to cave in on each other in quick, swirling movements. The shapes I could make out looked like huge leaves you might see in a jungle, and the more my mind seemed to drift to that, the more things began to pop out. I felt my lungs burning, and my legs, oh god they burned so bad. I heard a thundering noise behind me, like every single sound morphed together into one huge droning, deafening note. From the colors came new shapes, and my chest filled with dread as each one arose from the shadows. They leapt at me, what must have been eyes flashing prominently against a dark backdrop. I was still running. Running, running, running. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks, and my feet began to burn even worse, as if licked by flames. The lances of pain shot through my arms, my chest, and even parts of my face. It felt like thorns digging into me just to be pulled backwards, pulling my skin with them. Everything burned, and ached, and panic filled me. Whatever was chasing me was drawing near, and the feelings building in my chest were indescribable further than what I've already explained. It's like everything around me was crashing down. Moving so fast, yet so slow. I'd never escape. Suddenly, everything did stop, and I was falling yet again, but this time the falling came to a noticeable end. I smacked against whatever surface was below me and the pain became unbearable. My vision began to blur, speckled black at the edge. When I looked up, I was terrified at what I saw. My breath caught in my throat as a scream erupted from my chest, feeling like it was tearing me in two. Above me-

"Alan, wake the fuck up" a panicked voice woke me from my nightmare.

"Huh? W-what?" I panted. I was in Austins room. Great. I was sobbing, and my chest was tight, a dull ache tumbling around inside.

"What the hell happened! What's going on?" Austin asked me frantically.

"I-I don't know" I choked out. "I don't remember" I was trying to calm down, but my breaths were so choppy and uneven and everything ached. I was choking on the breaths I was taking, and I was scrambling blindly, trying to make sure everything was in tact.

Austin grabbed me steadying me and wiped a tear off of my face before pulling me into his lap. He pulled my head to his chest and just held it there, his other arm wrapped around my waist, and he just held me, whispering that things would be okay. I for once took advantage of it, and I sobbed until I couldn't sob anymore.

Whatever had happened, it left me with this terrible feeling. I was trembling so bad, and I was just so scared but I didn't know what I was scared of. I didn't know what had happened, and I didn't want to. I just knew that it felt too real, and that I was terrified.

Austin let go and laid down, beckoning me to lay down too. I did, about a foot and a half away from him, and I wiped my face.

"I'm s-sorry" I breathed. "Shit. I don't know what happened, I didn't mean to wake you up" I told him. "I'm s-sorry" I repeated, still breathing heavily.

"It's fine Alan, shit happens" he reassured me. I nodded, tears spilling down my face. I was just sobbing, and heaving. Austin let me cry on him once again and I'd never been so thankful for standing by someone in my entire life. I was so incredibly lucky to have him right now.

As my breathing evened out, he loosened his vice grip on me. I was still trembling terribly, and I felt sick to my stomach.

"It's 4AM, you should try and sleep again" he said quietly.

I glared at him. "You think I just choose not to?" I snapped at him. I felt so dizzy, and my breathing was still a bit uneven.

His face contorted into a cold glare. "You said your mom has to hold you, yeah?" He said blandly.