Temporary fix|JaiBrooks

Chapter seventeen

AUTHORS NOTE- Sorry I haven't been updating much im in my last year of school and been busy revising for exams and shit I will try and update as much as possible so im going to pre write a lot of chapters.

Charlottes POV

1 week.

1 week, since I heard that torturing bang. Since I saw the life drain from him. Since I held him, in his last moments alive. I have never pain like it, I feel like my heart is getting smashed into pieces every time I wake up or think of him. He was such a loving soul, he had so much love in him. But no one to give it to. I haven't left my room since they made me identify his body in the morgue. That was what broke me, Jai had to hold me back from breaking the thin glass separating me and the boy who once loved me but I never returned anything. I have never felt guilt like it, if I just showed some appreciation, he might have not got so bad.

Jai has been amazing and so have the boys. They haven't left my side, every break down I've had they were there to hold me up and make me feel like things would get better. But when you lose someone when you could've saved them, you know it wont get better. Because even though in a year or so people will forget the tragedy that happened in that beautiful forest. I will never forget. I will never forget the shrilling screams I made, I will never forget his eyes rolling to the back of his head. I will never forget that I could've saved him, if the gun was faced in my direction he could have still lived.

I wish it was me, it should've been me. Im a terrible person, I used people hurt them and fucked my life up. Jack was amazing, aside from his problems he was always there for you and would never use anyone. I decide its time I go downstairs after a whole week. I quietly come downstairs but stop when I hear the boys talking.

'I don't know what to do, I cant take much more of this. Its breaking me hearing her cry in the shower, crying herself to sleep. Maybe its time we send her to therapy or to Greencross centre.' What? They cant send me there. Greencross is a mental health hospital for people with depression or eating disorders or schizophrenia etc. Im not mental am I?

'Now why would you want to send me there?' I say my voice trembling.

'Char, we just think you could do with some help... you don't have to go to Greencross maybe you can just get therapy?'

'I don't fucking need it. Im not mental! I have just lost my best friend and you expect me to be all sunshine and daisies? Of course im going to how I am, I need to grieve and you sending me to therapy aren't what I need. I need all of you!' I say tears silently rolling down my face. Jai runs over to me and hugs me tight, nuzzling his head in my neck. 'I know baby, I know. Forget about anything we've said. All that matters is that you're here' he whispers. I knew he was lying though, eventually they will send me away, just like my 'parents' did.

He kisses me and pulls me down onto the sofa. I lean my head against his chest and for the first time in a week. I fell fast asleep.

****

I'm running in the woods, it seems never ending. I need to find him before its too late. I run faster than my legs can take me. 'JACK WHERE ARE YOU?' I scream stopping to look around at the endless rows of trees. I grip my hair in frustration and began sprinting around.

BANG

I turn around to see him lying there blood surrounding his body.

'NOOOOOO, NO, NO, NO, NO'

'Its your fault, that should be you' My dad says suddenly appearing next to me.

'You were a mistake why don't I just finish this big massive mistake I once started.' He says menacingly grabbing the gun before --

BANG

***

I shoot up when Jai shakes me. Sweat taking over my chest and forehead, my lungs begging for my inhaler. Jai catches on and runs to get it, he comes back and gives me two hits. My breathe calms down and I begin to sob grabbing onto Jais shirt, him hugging me.

'When will this end?' I sob

Jais POV

'When will this end?' she says, with a pained voice. She kept squirming in her sleep and started screaming his name. So I shook her awake and now shes clinging onto me as if her life depends on it.

I miss the old Char, the happy one when we first got together. Now im scared she's going to go back to how she was

I hate constantly being in fear of losing her. I really hope we don't. I would be so scared to send her to Greencross, but at the moment this is looking like the only thing that will get her better. It doesn't even take a blind man to know she's depressed, we spoke to a psychiatrist telling him all of the signs we've seen and he said it sounds very much like she has, but we can't say anything unless she gets assessed.

I really am at breaking point with her, we have all tried so hard to help her these past months, but it's not working. She needs proper help.

I just really hope she takes it, before she does anything we all dread. I cant lose her. I refuse to let the only thing I have let myself love since Ariana go. I will save, I will never leave her.

I promise