Hey guys(: I posted a song link on the side of the page that I thought would suit this chapter! Listen to it if you’d like!
Love
Will destroy you
From the inside out
It rips out your heart
And digs a thick hole
In your stomach
And once you can’t handle it
Anymore it starts to mess
With your mind
And it tells you
You’re not good enough
And never will be
And immediately you start
To change
And you’re not you
And never will be again
Perfect for someone
But it’s too late now
You’re only a stranger
Gavin and I stopped talking after that. He didn’t seem to need me anymore. Oh well. Valentine’s Day was coming up, and it seemed everyone had someone special to share it with except me. Jake fluttered into my mind and how I hadn’t talked to him in awhile so I texted him. We talked for little and he was telling me how he and Carrey broke up. I comforted him, but he just pushed me away saying it was whatever. It was awkward for a little, but we agreed we’d be alone together on Valentine’s Day which was the next day.
We talked for a little, but nothing too exciting. I wanted to tell him I missed him and that I loved him, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he didn’t say it back? What if it made him run away again? It was tearing me apart inside. But day after day we started talking more and more, and we started talking on the phone at night again. His voice had gotten deeper, and hotter. Yum. It was so familiar and comforting. He made me laugh and smile and feel genuinely happy. I honestly did love him.
After talking for a week, he finally came out and told me he missed me and he still loved me. I returned the words and smiled. We talked, and he said he didn’t want to give up. He promised me he’d wait for me; wait for my parents to come to their senses. He promised he’d always love me, and he promised he’d never leave me ever again. He swarmed me with his words of comfort, making me tingle with happiness inside. I believed him, I trusted him.
One night we were talking, and it was all the cute stuff like, I’ll always love you, I’d wait forever for you. And Jake sent me a text. He said ‘Marry me’. It seemed farfetched, but I loved him, I wanted to, I’d give the world to. I’d b able to love him throughout high school. I’d wait. He promised he would. ‘Yes, I do’ I responded with a smile. I giggled; I loved the thought of it. I loved the thought of being with him, loving him, being with him, forever. Forever he promised, forever.
Everything seemed perfect, I had Jake back, I was in school with all my friends, there were no problems at home, and I was happy. Until, one day after school, I was going home with Julia. We were riding on the bus, when Julia, being her funny, obnoxious self tells me, “I’ve always wanted to do this like on the TV shows.” She grabbed my head slamming it against the bus window. My headed pounded; I could feel the egg on my head forming. “Ow, Julia, what the hell!” The people around us were laughing, so Julia, as a reaction, does it again 3 times in a row. I finally pushed her off of me and screamed at her to stop. “Aw, come on Addie, it’s just a joke!”
“A joke that really fucking hurts!” I yelled.
I didn’t talk to her for the rest of the bus ride home. We got off at her house and she apologized. We made up and walked up her driveway. We got in and went to her room to go study for our English vocabulary quiz the next day. Then, she had to bring it up.
“Well, you have to admit, that was pretty funny on the bus. It’s so much fun!” She cheered.
“No it wasn’t, it hurt and it was annoying.” I shouldn’t have said that, Julia hates being called annoying above all names. For some reason it gets to her. She took my head and slammed it against the wall multiple times. “OW! JULIA STOP THAT HURTS!!!” I begged, tears of anger welling to my eyes. She hit it one more time and then I pulled my arm up to push her off of me.
“THAT’S IT! I’M DONE WITH YOU! I’M GOING HOME!” I started grabbing my things.
“TOO BAD YOUR MOM’S NOT HERE!”
“THEN I’LL GO WAIT OUTSIDE!”
I ran out to the bottom of the driveway, and sat there waiting. My dad ended up picking me up about 2 minutes after I had left. In the car I held in my tears the best I can. I let a few dribble, but not a lot. I texted Jake, hoping he’d comfort me but I was wrong.
‘I left, I walked out of her house on her.’
‘I’m sorry Addie, we can’t talk anymore.’
My heart stopped. The tears started. My mind raced. My breathing became rapid.
‘No…no…you promised…’
‘I’m sorry I just can’t, your parents won’t ever let us be together.’
‘You said you’d wait, you promised forever.’
‘I can’t…goodbye Addie.’
‘Why can’t we be friends please!’
No response. I texted him on and on but he never responded. When I got home I didn’t know what to do, who to talk to. I was mad at Julia. Jake was my only other close friend. But I decided to call Penny.
I was broken, torn in half, lost, empty.
