When I got home the first person I called was Jake. And as I was sitting there talking to him I realized, shouldn't I be calling my boyfriend first? I hadn't talked to him in awhile. Oh god. I did like Jake, did I still like Tom? Yes, I loved Tom, yet not really. Love is supposed to last, have no doubts, be there constantly, right? I don't love him. Don't think I ever did. Guess it was time to say goodbye...
After I got off the phone, I texted Tom, yes I know it's a bitch move to break up with someone through text but, I felt bad and wasn't able to call him and face him to do it. And I couldn't wait to see him next to do it, cause who the hell knows when I'd see him next.
He took it well, sort of. He knew it was coming and he apologized for being the way he was and we agreed to stay friends. After that, he said he had to go and he'd talk to me later. So I texted Jake, like I always did. I felt bad, moving on so fast, liking Jake. But I always kind of had liked him since we first started talking; I just wasn't allowed to be with him. I used to like Tom too though. Ugh, this was bad.
But soon with Jake's persuasive words that made me melt into his hands so easily, it didn't matter. I fell for him face first, hard, in love with him. It wasn't any way that I felt for Tom, or anyone before Tom. I knew it was love. He was my first love, and it felt great. We'd stay up talking on the phone every night, text throughout the day, we weren't dating but, I wish we were. If only my parents could see, what I saw in him.
Then this one night on the phone we were talking.
"Addie."
"Yeah?"
"Will you go out with me?" A big smile grew across my face, but then sank. How the hell was this supposed to work out with my parents? I'll never be able to see him. I love him, but I'll only be letting him down.
"What about my parents, we can't see each other."
"We'll work it out babe."
"I'll think about it."
My head was saying no but my heart was screaming yes. The heart wants what the heart wants.
