Fairy Tales Do Exisit

Chapter 20 Adam

Adam

Fuck i missed her, I had consumed myself with work, when I wasnt working, I was drunk, iit worked, well it worked to begin with, then I became more depressed, more manic, not me and others were begining to notice. I was letting others down, I had decided that tonight was going to be my last blow out and then I was going to get her, whether it was here or there I couldnt do this without her, so if she wouldn't move here I would have to give it up and go there, who says I cant have there as my base and make music, there still the internet.

What if she doesn't want me any more though, when we skyped earlier she didn't sound her usual bubbly self she sounded distant and sad.

"Tequila anyone?" we continued doing shots out by the pool, eventually I pulled out my guitar and started playing silly songs, we were all signing yellow submarine at the top of our voices.

Jesse went to get us more drinks from the bar and Matt and Erika were all over each other so I took the opportunity to walk away and call Lana, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew she had been on night shift so Id wake her but I didn't care.

she answered on the third ring, "Hey baby, whats up"

"Shit did I wake you?"

"Mmm yeah but its ok, whats wrong you sound funny"

"Drinking with Jesse, Ragan, Matt and Erika, and i miss you, and I'm drunk horny"

"I'm sorry baby, I know I promised that I would be there this week but work wont let me have the time off. I was almost in tears when they told me, I miss you baby."

Fuck, fuck fuck, I was counting on her coming, on her spending that time with me.

"Fuck them, quit you deserve better than, you deserve to be here with me, Im a mess, I miss you... I need you, I wana fuck you so hard right now"

"Baby, how much have you had to drink, where are you? Wheres Ragan and Jesse?"

"Ragan's taking Matt and Erika home and Jesses about. I'm at home. So what if I'm drunk it doesn't change anything, your still not here, you still haven't given me an answer, I dying without you baby. Come work for me, Run 222 clothing for me, I know its not what you trained for but.. Ragan agreed to be store manger tonight and you could be business manager, that shit makes sense to you, I trust you more than anyone please, it would be a real job you wouldn't be my trophy girlfriend....."

"I know, but it wont be soon before long, I promise. Call me in the morning ok? I need to think about this, overnight okay? Say hi to Ragan and Jesse for me, I love you Adam, please becareful."

"I love you Lana, please don't leave me. I'll call you in the morning."

"Bye baby, be safe"

and then she was gone, I walked back over to the pool, sad and sexually frustrated.

Jesse was sitting on the edge of the pool, a beer in hand, feet dangling in the water I sat down next to him. Lit up the joint from my pocket and handed it to him.

"Adam, bro I gottta say you are handling this long distance thing with Lana well..." Jesse said to me unconvincingly

"If you can call falling apart handling it well, Jesse I gotta say i hate you a little bit, well I mean not really, but what you and Ragan have, I cant function without Lana here."

"She finishes her last paper next week and then she can be here on a more permanent basis.."

"No, that isnt possible, she told Ragan that she would never move away from NZ."

"And you have no possible influence on her right?"

I normally could get woman to do what ever I wanted them too, but Lana was different, she had ideas and values of her own, she didn't need a man to live, she just enjoyed them, as much as I wanted her to be her, I didn't want that level of independence to change that was part of what attracted me to her to begin with.

"Adam, Do you think you could ever leave LA? I think the way you feel about LA is the way she feels about NZ. She even had Ragan convinced to move there before we feel in love."

"Your in love? Bro I knew that there was a strong connection there, but you Mean like the full I love you, thats awesome. Im so happy for you, this kinda love is rare and god knows how we were blessed at the same time." I felt warm again distracted by the happiness of two of my best friends, they truly deserved each other

"Yeah, I think we have been for awhile, but after the tour, knowing that even in a small bus, no sleep and all that pressure. That I loved her, and even stronger, it felt right, so earlier I just kinda blurted it out and she feels the same way. I've never been this happy Adam. I have my whole life to talk about Ragan and I, at the moment we are talking about your situation Adam, and I really font like seeing you like this. Ragan was really concerned about you today. I appeased her, and I am sure I herself her off for a bit, but you need to figure this out. You love her, you need to be with her, and you know its is either here or there. You have everything here and she has everything there. You guys need to really talk this out and decide what is more important.

"All I know is I cant live without her, but I can't leave LA. I mean I would do anything for her... ANYTHING, but I just can't imagine not being her. I want her here so bad, in my house, in my bed, in my everyday... Every time we talked about it today, I could tell it hurt here. I know she loves where she is. Part of me feels selfish asking her to be here, asking her to leave everything she has and is... But..."

"Bro I think you need to tell her this, but tell her so that she knows that you ar real and honest. If Lana is half as amazing as you and Ragan feel she is, she will get that you need her to be here."

"Enough of this depressing shit time for more shots"

By this time I was both stoned and drunk, but I could still feel. I wasn't numb enough and the only cure for that was more Tequila.

A couple shots and a good try at numb, I decided it was time for a 3am swim fully clothed. I did an impressive bomb into the pool and started doing lazy back stroke.

I heard Ragan yell at Jesse to get my drunk ass out of the pool.

What a good idea Ragan, so as Jesse held out a hand to me I pulled him into the pool too.

And the fight was on, we spent the next 20 minutes having impressive water fights and races until Ragan insisted we get out

"Yes Mom!" I shouted as I made my way to the Ladder. She wrapped me in the towel and gave me her naughty child look.

I was hungry and thirsty so went towards the house, stripping off my wet clothes as I went, leaving just my damp boxers.

As I was pouring another drink and grabbing my half eaten sub, Ragan walked in.

"Adam no more you've had enough, lets get you to bed before you catch a chill"

"Hey thats my drink don't get rid off it, I'm not drunk, I'm just happy"

I walked around the bar and knocked a few of the dirty wine glasses to the slate floor. Fuck.

I all of a sudden felt the physical and emotional exhaustion hit me. I feel towards the door and Ragan supported me to my bedroom. Last thing I remember is falling on to my bed

"I love her Ragan, why doesn't she love me, if she loved me she would be here now..."