The Outlaw

11

ELEVEN

I should have seen it coming. Somewhere along the way, I'd become accustomed to Travis burrowing himself into my life. Our arrangement didn't turn out how I'd expected at all—in fact, it had actually fell apart. And for some reason that didn't bother me if it meant that I could be around him as much as I'd wanted.

But in true Maddie-fashion, I denied every single one of my thoughts and feelings. Sucked it up and choked it down. I figured I wouldn't talk about it, I wouldn't think about it and everything would be normal. Even if I knew that was a cop-out.

They called Travis an outlaw, but I was an outlaw running from the truth.

*

"So meeting the parents already? That was kinda... quick." I eyed Cameron in the tall mirror of the store's changing room as he adjusted the dark gray button-down he was trying on.

Cameron couldn't help the grin on his face as he answered, turning around to face me, his eyes soft and mushy.  "Yeah, I know. But Talia's different to anyone else I've dated... I don't know how to explain it." He shrugged self-consciously, making him look younger than the twenty-four years that he was.

Grinning, I stood up and walked over to him. With my eyes fixated on correcting his tie, I told him, "You don't have to. Because that smile on your face tells me everything I need to know."

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pressed my cheek to his chest and closed my eyes, savouring the security I've always felt with Cam. Knowing the hurdles he'd been through to make a living for the both of us, it made me happy to know that he was. And he deserved it more than anyone I knew.

"Hey," Cameron ran his hand down my hair, his cheek resting atop the crown of my head, swaying us lightly from side to side. "What's wrong?"

My eyes screwed shut tighter. I could never hide my emotions from Cam no matter how much I tried. Still, pulling back, I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing. I've just missed you."

Between Cameron's full-time job at the garage, my time being devoted on either studying or at the bar, and now more and more nights frequently expended at Travis' apartment, I've been scarce of time to spend with Cameron in the last couple of weeks. And with everything that's been going on, I'd never felt so... confused before.

But I didn't confess any of that to Cam because if nothing made much sense in my head, how would I even begin to explain?

Cameron searched my face, his lips forming a sad smile before settling with, "I'm always here if you need me."

Just knowing that he was would have to be enough.

I stepped back, visibly shaking off the melancholy. I went back to the task at hand—assisting Cameron in finding an outfit to wear for dinner at Talia's parents' house. I'd agreed to help not only because I wanted too, but because I needed something to get my mind off from last night.

Something changed between us. I knew it. Travis knew it. And the possibility closed my throat. But I'd have to deal with it later... or maybe never.

Appraising the black slacks Cam paired the shirt with; I tapped my chin with my index finger thoughtfully. "So... I'm thinking no suit jacket. Gives the impression that you're trying too hard. You're going for dinner, not an interview."

"How about a sweater vest?"

I threw him a look that said, Are you kidding me?

Cameron nodded seriously. "Okay. So no sweater vest."

*

It was late when I headed to Travis' apartment, the sun having already set for hours. Adjusting the grocery bag on my hip, I let myself in with the key he'd given me not too long ago. For a fleeting moment, it almost felt like a domesticated task shared between a couple that were cohabiting and that had me stopping in my tracks.