Love Defined

Part 13

Chapter 12

I was wet and I was cold but, above all... I was scared. The pep talk from Phillip had sent me on a high that had pushed me towards my car and ultimately Scott's apartment. Standing outside his door however, had been testament to just how short-lived my high truly was. I didn't feel any bit as confident as I had earlier. In fact I felt nauseous.

I gulped, suddenly aware of the predicament I had willingly placed myself in. I couldn't do it, I couldn't be that girl who stood stone faced in front of a man and admitted fault. I could never be that girl who let anyone see her for what she truly was.

Weak.

I despised weakness. It showed vulnerability and vulnerability meant that someone had power over you. I refused to ever let anyone have power over me. I had worked too hard to get where I was and I wasn't about to let someone come in and vacuum it all away.

That being said... I did owe Scott an apology.

With a new sense of shame blanketing me, I knocked on Scott's door and held my breath as I awaited his presence. I stood there for a while and I wondered if he was even home. I hadn't had to wonder for too long before the door flew open revealing an unkempt looking Scott. The collared shirt he wore earlier sat at an odd angle with the first two buttons open and the hem wrinkled like Mrs. Harrison's face. He wore a long pair of jean pants, despite the blistering heat earlier. His hair stood up in every direction; the sandy locks dancing and waving in the air. I trailed my eyes over his body and I gasped when my eyes found his. His once bright and lively green eyes seemed dead in the darkness and his happy smirk was nowhere in sight, only a grim line of his lips joined the puffiness of his eyes to create an image of distress and possibly heartache.

"What happened to you? Are you okay?" I asked, noticing for the first time that Scott stood staring at me in disbelief.

My voice seemed to pull Scott out of his thoughts quick enough for him to blink once and then, without warning, wrap his thick arms around me. I tensed when his arms folded over my stiff ones and he laid his head atop my own.

"You're here," he stated.

I rolled my eyes, though he couldn't see me. "Yes and now I'm being suffocated. Could you ease up please?"

"Huh- oh sorry about that." He withdrew his arms from my body and took a step back. I watched amused as he awkwardly scratched at his neck and kept his eyes trained on the floor. "I thought you hated me."

I frowned, "Why would I hate you?"

Scott blushed and mumbled to the floor, "Because I kissed you."

I felt my cheeks burn as I remembered the feel of his lips on mine. I could still fell the tingle his lips left on my skin and the warmth his hold on me created. I shook my head and blushed deeper. "It's me you should hate."

"What? No, why would I ever hate you? I like you too much."

I stiffened and Scott cleared his throat as yet another blush tinted his cheeks. I don't think I'd ever seen a man blush as much as Scott had in the past five minutes. "I mean, you're too nice for me to hate you," he added softly.

I gave him a soft smile and was delighted to see his eyes light up briefly. "Thanks, I think."

We stood there for a moment, each looking everywhere but at each other. It was awkward and far too silent and yet, I wasn't uncomfortable. Somehow, even in silence, Scott made me feel safe.

"Would you like to come in?" He asked quietly, gesturing to the open door.

I glanced between him and the interior of his home and paused. Scott noticed my hesitancy and quickly held his hands up in mock surrender. "I swear I'll behave."