Love Defined

Part 6

Chapter 5

They usually say that when you have children, silence is dangerous. With Scott and I, I'd like to believe the same applied. The silence that suffocated us as we made our way to Scott's apartment, felt like the kind of silence that anger bubbled under. It wasn't just dangerous. No, the silence that surrounded us felt threatening, as though any minute either one of us was going to blow up like an erupting volcano. My silence was out of fear and apprehension; Scott's however, oozed frustration.

I knew hitting him with the egg was a bad idea.

I glanced nervously towards Scott whose eyes were focused on the road ahead. When we had left my tiny apartment, I was surprised to see Scott willingly load his car with all my equipment and orders. I hadn't asked him to do anything and yet, he silently walked to the door, bent down low; making all his back muscles flex, and piled the containers into his arms. He had been silent as he left to place the containers in the car. I had been silent as I quickly gathered the last few items I needed. Scott had waited in the car for me to lock my door and then I climbed into his vehicle. I had hoped that the silence would disappear but it didn't. I hadn't thought much of it since I had only just met the man.

My first indication that something was wrong was when Scott turned the first corner. His muscles seemed tighter as he held on the steering wheel. We had just turned back onto straight road when Scott had suddenly slammed his fist against the steering wheel. I had flinched and curled in the seat; suddenly reconsidering my choice to be alone with him. I thought he would speak but he didn't. He hadn't even glanced my way.

That was when I knew that he was fuming and, that I was the reason why.

I carefully shifted in my seat so that I faced Scott with majority of my body. He kept his eyes on the road and I wondered for a moment if he were even aware of my presence.

"I would like to go home." I had aimed for sounding assertive and possibly demanding but, my voice wavered and instead it sounded uncertain and cautious.

For the first time since we had left my apartment, Scott glanced in my direction. "Why?" He asked.

His green eyes were open and, though his body suggested otherwise, his eyes were soft and warm. His eyes bore into mine and in that quick moment, I felt like he knew more than I was letting on. I quickly looked away and glanced out the window. We were heading away from the city centre; the car easily manoeuvring through the twists of the town.

"I'm uncomfortable," I whispered.

Scott's attention had returned to the road but he had heard me. I knew this because of the way his knuckles tighten briefly around the steering wheel. "Why are you uncomfortable?" He asked quietly.

"I don't like the atmosphere." I kept my voice low. It was as though we both feared broaching the elephant in the room and instead decided that if we spoke quietly enough, then we would somehow be successful in avoiding it. It was a ridiculous notion and yet, I found myself staying quiet as though speaking up would only anger Scott more.

Scott groaned softly before he slowly pulled the car to a stop. He turned the ignition off and turned in his seat to face me. "What did I do?" He asked.

"You didn't do anything. It's what I did to you Scott. You say that it's okay but I can see you're angry at me for smashing the egg on your head. I didn't mean to do it but I panicked."

He shook his head and a small smile played on his lips. "I'm not angry at you."

"Then why are you angry?"

"I'm angry because of how I treated you. I scared you earlier when I tried to kiss you and that's why I'm angry. I'm angry because how I treated you is so far from how you deserve to be treated."