One Life

1.

He didn't really say anything when I told him the news. I guess he was frozen in shock, but still, at least a hug would've been better than nothing. No hugs, though - just him standing there with his stupid mouth wide open. I decided to let him be for a little bit until he felt comfortable enough to come talk to me about it. I cared how long it did take for him to come around since my surgery was coming up fast, but I wouldn't push him for an answer.

"Alright, Sal, I'm just gonna go make a sandwich. Would you like one?"

Sal just shook his head a few times when he finally snapped back to reality. He turned to me as I strolled into the kitchen to begin making dinner.

"Surgery? Are you fucking kidding me, Michelle? What for?" Sal came over to me and wrapped his large arms around me. I would normally say it was comforting, but I knew he was shaking like a dog.

"I've told you before, Sal, the medications I've been taking have affected my kidneys and so I need a kidney transplant because my right kidney is already damaged and can't be fixed." I tried not to sound annoyed with having to re-explain what I've told him multiple times since we met, but I cut him some slack since this was startling news.

"Shit, Michelle, how the hell are you going to get through this? I'm going to have to take off of work and be there for you and-"

I cut him off as I grabbed some cheese from the fridge. "You don't have to quit your job, Sal. You can keep touring with the other guys."

Sal shut the fridge door once I had left it and tilted his head towards me in a funny way. "Mickey, come on. It's surgery, not a little illness. I'm not gonna leave you all alone to go through this whole thing by yourself."

I didn't bother arguing with him. I was too tired from the trip back from the hospital and just wanted two things that night: food and some alone time with my man. I simply turned from the sandwich to him and nodded in agreement. I knew he was just as stressed about this surgery as I was, but I didn't want to stop him from touring and filming episodes of Impractical Jokers just because his baby girl needed some operation. I thought I would be selfish and that Q, Joe, and Murr would hate me for that.

Once the sandwiches were made for him and I, we ate our crappy dinners in silence as we watched the six o' clock news. The same stories were on the news about killings, politics, and diets. Since neither of us seemed interested in it, I grabbed the remote and turned off the television. Sal put his sandwich down and turned to me, his mouth full. He just gave me a confused look, but continued to eat his sandwich without a word spoken.

"Sal, we have to talk," I said after a moment of silence. 

Sal turned to me with worry in his eyes. That probably wasn't the best  way to get his attention, but at least I got his attention.

"Okay," Sal said, wiping his mouth clean.

I took a deep breath before speaking. "Are you scared of me getting a kidney transplant?" I asked him, crossing my legs over his lap.

Sal was quiet for a moment. He walked his fingers up and down my legs as he thought to himself as to what to say. When he finally spoke, he couldn't even look me in the eye.

"Maybe," he mumbled, talking down to my legs.

I took my legs off his lap and scooted closer to him. "Then let's talk about it," I told him, taking his hand gently. "Nothing will get resolved if we don't talk things out."

Sal stared at me for a moment and shook his head, pulling his hand away from mine. "I don't wanna talk right now," he said, grabbing the last bit of his sandwich.

I decided to be calm, since it was such a big deal. I crawled up behind him and massaged his back gently, trying to calm him down like a back massage could normally do. This, though, was not a normal situation to be getting stressed over.

"Look, Michelle, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" Sal got up from the couch and put his plate on the counter. He stormed into his bedroom without another word and slammed the door shut.

I had nothing else to say. I wanted to go to him and I wanted him so badly to tell me everything would be okay, but I knew he was too scared of what would happen during and after this surgery. He was probably as worried as I was; the only difference was that I didn't show my nervousness.

About an hour later, after everything had been cleaned up from our dinner, I went over to his bedroom door and knocked on it.

"Sal? Will you let me in? I wanna cuddle.."

It seemed like forever, but he opened the door after a moment. He had a straight face but care in his eyes as he pulled me into a deep kiss. I knew he wasn't mad at me, necessarily, but upset at the whole situation. I pulled out of the kiss after a moment with a small smile, trying to reassure him that I wasn't mad at him.

After I had gotten dressed, I snuggled into bed with Sal. We watched some late night show like normal, but tonight was different. Tonight neither of us laughed at the funny comments, nor the State Farm commercials. It was just him and I together in bed, not saying a single word to each other. It was odd, but something about it was soothing at the same time.

Once the show had finished, he turned the television off and shut his lamp light off. I went to turn to him, but his back was facing me. I sighed quietly to myself as I turned my back to him so I was facing the windows.

"I love you, Sal," I said into the quiet room.

Nothing was said for a whole five minutes. I was about to close my eyes when I felt two large arms wrap around me and a set of lips kiss my cheek. When I turned back to face him, he was already looking at me.

"Goodnight, Michelle," he said, kissing my forehead gently. "I love you too. We can talk in the morning."

I fell asleep shortly after with his arms still wrapped around me protectively. I knew he was finally relaxed since his body wasn't as tensed as it was before when we were eating dinner. I knew this wouldn't be an easy challenge to deal with, but it was something I knew we could both work out.