Relapse / / h.s.

Chapter Ten.

   "Hey," Elena rested her hand on my arm gently, her thumb rubbing circles over my skin. We'd been driving for fifteen minutes and my hands were just starting to be still. Who was Ashton to say that? I didn't need him telling me what he thought was best for me. I was fine. "How are you feeling?"

   I stopped at the stop sign before deciding to tell her the truth, "I'm all right. Sorry for making us leave so early."

   "Stop apologizing," she scoffed. "It's fine, Harry. Really. You can take me home."

"Actually," I sighed. I felt awful. The night wasn't supposed to end like this. Elena was never supposed to see me like this. "Do you want to go grab something to eat?"

She stared at me, her brown eyes visible even in the dark. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Yeah," I told her. "I'm sure."

She smiled. "Then, yeah. I'd love to."

We ended up at a hole in the wall burger place downtown. It was where I'd taken Lily after the first time we'd visited Smith's together. I made sure Elena and I sat in the same booth in the back.

   "So that girl," Elena asked as she slurped diet coke through her straw. "Amelia. Are you guys friends or not?"

  I couldn't help but laugh. "More or less." The light above the table flickered. "She's been here for me a lot lately."

She nodded. "And everyone else? Liam, Niall, and Ashton- they're your friends too?"

"Ashton's my best friend," I told her. "Or at least he used to be. Like I said, things have been-"

"Weird," she finished for me. "I could tell."

"Could you?"

"Yeah," Elena nodded quickly and tucked her hair behind her ears. It had lost most of it's curl so it kind of looked like a lion's mane around her face, but in a completely presentable way. I think Elena was pretty in every aspect of the word, really. It was all her personality. Usually people who were overly nice pissed me off, but not her. "I saw the way everyone stared at you, like you were a ghost or something."

   "They didn't expect me to be there. No one did, really." I had barely left my flat in months, it was no surprise that all of these people couldn't believe it when they saw me walk right through the front doors of Liam's place. Hell, even I couldn't believe that I had thought a party would be a good idea. That's what I get for letting Amelia talk me into things. 

   "I could tell that too," she said quickly. The waitress came, her hair done up way too tight for her face and she was wearing so much eyeliner that she resembled a raccoon. Elena ordered a burger and I got the same, knowing good and well that I would barely touch it. "Even your friends were a little... surprised."

  "I haven't been around much lately," I admitted. "Haven't really had the energy to put up with them."

  "Well that's a terrible thing to say," she laughed. She slid out of her cardigan, leaving her in a white thin-strapped tank top. She had a birthmark on her bony right shoulder. "They're your friends."

  "I know, I know," I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "It just gets tiring after awhile." 

  Elena's smile dropped, her mouth turning into a straight line. "Tell me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here, Harry," she said in a hushed voice. I could barely hear her over the ridiculous county music that was blaring through the jukebox in the corner. "But you're not- are you depressed?"

  I sat back against the booth, trying to think of a quick way out of this conversation. I realized there wasn't one. It was time for the truth. I took a deep breath, I was ready for the truth. Admitting it out loud just made everything so much harder.