Relapse / / h.s.

Chapter Eight.

Amelia's visit seemed to put me in my right mind again. Well, not exactly in my right mind, but I was somehow able to drag myself off the couch and stand in the shower long enough to make myself presentable, which is something I wouldn't have cared less about the day before. I'd have to remember to thank her later on. She was the only one who could help me because she was the only one that wasn't afraid to yell at me. Maybe she was afraid, but she didn't care.

I left my flat before the sun came up. I liked leaving early. The roads were quiet, but not in an eat you alive sort of way. It was nostalgic quiet- a soothing quiet, the kind that puts you at peace for a few minutes. I sucked on a cigarette after I'd pulled into the parking lot downtown, wasting time. I watched the ember glow in the dark and let the smoke easily fill my lungs. I could smoke a whole pack of these right now if I didn't have to get to work.

Elena was already inside, just like I knew she would be. Her blonde hair was pulled back and held up with a dark purple ribbon to match her blouse, and she was stood up in front of her desk, craned over to look at files.

"Hey," she smiled, when I closed the door behind me. Even though I'd barely spoken the last few days, she didn't lose her chipper attitude towards me. I was grateful for that. Today, more than anything, I needed a friend.

"If we have a lot to do today, don't tell me," I laughed as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I poured hers next, two spoonfuls of sugar and a little bit of milk. She grinned gratefully when I gave it to her and set it on her desk.

"All right," she said. "But it's not paperwork today." She held up a stack of papers, thicker than any novel I'd ever dared read.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes. "Ill fold. You stamp?"

She thought about that for a minute, taking her first sip from her cup. She screwed her eyes shut as she drank and licked her lips afterwards. "Deal."

We worked the whole morning. I folded papers and stuffed them into envelopes, Elena put stamps in the corner and sealed each one. It was nice to be doing something, even something as seemingly pointless as this. After the week I'd had, I needed this-to be out- more than anything.

   "I didn't know you smoked," she told me, about forty-five minutes after we'd started. We'd stayed quiet besides the occasional remark on how ridiculously long this was taking and Elena's low humming.

    "What?" I wondered. How did she know that? I didn't take smoke breaks at work and she certainly hadnt been outside with me earlier.

  "I can smell it," she shrugged. I sniffed my shirt. Nothing. "Don't worry. It's not too bad."

I tried my best to offer her a smile, but she was too busy working on peeling stamps. "I don't- it helps. Smoking... helps."

"What do you mean it 'helps'?" She snorted. She seemed like she was making fun of me, but definitely not judging me which was cool.

"I stress a lot," I said slowly, hoping it sounded convincing enough that she wouldn't ask questions. "It helps with the nerves."

"There are other ways for that," she sighed, putting her stamps down on the table. "But it's your life."

"Thank you," I said, finality in my voice. Everything was silent again, awkwardly so.

"Does your stress have anything to do with the girl in the picture?" She asked after awhile.

   "What?"

  Elena stopped what she was doing and  put her stamps back on her desk. She dragged her feet all the way over to my desk and my stomach dropped when she turned around with the picture frame in her hands.