Relapse / / h.s.

Chapter Two.

      I cracked open one eye, the sun streaming through the window nearly blinding me as I dared open the other. It was mid-may, which meant spring was just starting to die down and summer was starting to appear just behind it. I couldn't tell if I was sweating from the heat of the morning or if it was just from the alcohol I'd ingested.

   "Ahh," there she was again, her smile taking up most of her face. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and sat up straight, hearing a loud crack from my back in the process. "So he wakes. Another bad dream?"

   I pushed my grown-out hair out of my face. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd bothered to get a haircut. Frankly, I'd had other things on my mind and it wasn't something I cared too much about and I learned that it looked fine if I just threw it up with a hair-tie. It smelled like cigarettes, though, to the point where it was nearly overwhelming.

   "Yeah," I cleared my throat, reaching for my pack of cigarettes on the table. I'd picked the habit up again right after.  It was one of the few things that didn't make me feel like I was crawling out of my own skin. The nightmares had been a reoccurring thing for months. This time there was Lily and we were fine, until I woke up and found her motionless in bed beside me.  "I'm all right though."

   She rolled her eyes, coughing and waving the smoke out of her face as she plopped down beside me. "You'd think I'd be used to the smell of those by now."

"Yeah," I agreed, watching the ember-colored glow as I took a puff. I tilted my head back and watched the smoke bellow into the air when I exhaled. Lily scoffed. "You'd think so."

"I still don't like the idea of you smoking," she scolded me. "Did you know I actually died of cancer or..?"

Her words seemed to punch a hole right through me, but she sat the same with her legs crossed over one another and her face trained on my face as I took a final drag. She was guilt tripping me and I knew it. I put it out despite the fact I still had more than half left.

She coughed once more and said, "Thank you. It's what's best for you."

"I'm already going crazy," I sighed. "What's one little cigarette?"

   "Oh shut up," she laughed, hitting my shoulder. "You're fine."

A knock on the door stopped me from retorting back. I thought about ignoring it, but whoever was on the other side was very persistent and knocked and knocked until I thought it would drive me crazy. I had a pretty good idea of who it was, but I wasn't so sure I had the energy to put up with him.

"Hey, man," he said as soon as I swung open the door. Ashton. He had two bags in his hands and his hair fell over his face in a mangy sort of way. "I brought food."

I stood there, staring at him. He was my best friend, I know I should have been excited to see him. Or relieved. Or felt something besides dread. By the time he left I'd need a nap.

"Can I come in?" He wondered, trying to peer over my shoulder into my flat. It was a mess, cleaning wasn't exactly at the top of my priorities list either.

   I let him in, closing the door behind him. He picked up various amounts of clothing off the couch and sat down, putting the bags of food on the table and beginning to tear through them.

  "I just got you a couple burgers and some fries," he said, stuffing his face with a handful of French fries. He lay four burgers on the table beside him and set two more down in front of him.

  "Erm, Ash?" I asked, sitting down beside him. He didn't seem to mind me. "Four burgers?"

   "Oh yeah," he nodded quickly. "God only knows how long it's been since the last time you've eaten."