Relapse / / h.s.

Chapter Five.

   It had been two weeks of pulling myself out of bed every morning, dreading the choice I made until I actually got to the station. Cindy stopped giving me dirty looks every time she saw me and now greeted me every morning with a barely- there glance. A glance was better than a scowl, I decided, and I was willing to look the other way as long as she left me alone.

   For the first time in months, I felt normal again. I was a real person, going to work every morning and interacting with other people. I'd locked myself up for so long I'd forgotten what it felt like to be able to chat with someone about things that weren't even important. I could forget about every shit thing in my life for a few hours and just submerge myself in work. It was a nice distraction, but when I was home alone again, the distraction was gone and my thoughts practically ate me alive once again.

   "Did you see her shoes?" Elena gossiped in a hushed whisper. I wasn't sure why she was whispering, the door was closed and the phones outside had been ringing off the hook all morning. "They were so... awful."

  "Well," I finished typing the report I was working on- an irrelevant domestic dispute- with a final click of my mouse. "She's a prostitute. I don't think she's worried too much about her shoe choices."

    Elena stifled a giggle into her coffee cup. "I feel bad for laughing, but they were atrocious."

      I didn't think I'd ever be able to make a friend again, but Elena was great. She had a vibrant personality and she was always laughing, which made me laugh too. She helped take the edge off. The days certainly didn't seem as hard to conquer when I knew I'd have Elena to help me get through them.

  I had a friend. She didn't know anything about my life before I got my job back, and she didn't ask. Since she didn't know, she didn't constantly badger me to talk about my feelings like all of my other friends did. It didn't exhaust me to be around her.

    Elena talked a lot, though, which wasn't a bad thing. She talked  Mostly about work but a lot about herself too, which wasn't a bad thing, either. The more she talked about herself, the less time we had to talk about me.  I could ask her questions to keep her from asking me.

  In two weeks I'd learned that she was from central Indiana and she'd been a cheerleader at the biggest high school in her town. She moved up here with her mum after she'd graduated and she was a Pisces. She was interning here before she started college in the fall. She was majoring in sociology and wanted to become a social worker, which I thought was interesting.

     "What are you reading?" I asked her. The police station wasn't as busy that day, and we actually had time to breathe and slack off if we wanted.

   Cocoa-colored eyes peeked over the edge of her book and quickly darted back to the pages. A few seconds later she closed the book and lay it down on her desk, resting her chin in her hands.

     "It's Vampire Diaries," she said simply. "I only started reading it because the main character has the same first name as me."

   "Oh really?" I didn't care about her book, really, I just needed something to talk about so then there wasn't silence. Silence seemed to creep into my skin and mess with my head. "What's it about?"

   "You wouldn't be interested in it."

   I scoffed. "You don't know that. Try me."

   "No!" She covered her hands with her face. "You'll make fun of me!"

   "Elena," I chuckled and she rolled her eyes. "Come on. Tell me."

   "Fine, fine," she huffed. "There's this girl-"

   "Elena," I interrupted her.

   "Right, Elena," she smiled. "And she meets this boy Stefan-"

   "So it's a romance novel?"

   "I guess so. Yeah," she nodded. "Except she can't seem to be able to choose between Stefan and his brother, Damon."

   "Well what's wrong with that?"

   "Damon's not a good guy!" She exclaimed. "And did I mention that they were vampires?"

  "I kind of got that from the title."

   She was about to fill me in with even more about the book I couldn't care less about when my cell phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my front pocket and flipped it over. I sighed, debating on whether or not to answer it.

    "Hey, Anne," I tried not to huff into the phone, but I couldn't help it. My mother hadn't exactly played the biggest part in my life, but  she had sworn to me that she would try if I let her. I didn't want any part of it, but I knew it would have made Lily happy.

    "Harry, hi!" I could hear her smile. Elena raised a dark brow and I rolled my eyes, waving her off. She opened up her ridiculous book again and pretended to read. I knew she'd be trying her best to listen to my conversation because that was just the kind of person Elena was. "Are you busy?"

     "Kind of."

   "Lying around on the sofa doesn't count, love," she laughed and I rolled my eyes. Even though I was working on being okay with having Anne in my life again, it was still hard sometimes to move past what she'd done before. Sometimes she still irritated me to no end for no reason.

    "I'm actually at work."

   The other line was silent for a few moments. "Well, all right then. That's- that's- good for you, Harry."

   "Thank you," I rolled my eyes again. I didn't need her praise. I didn't need anyone's praise. "Did you need something?"

"Oh! Right!" I could hear her smile again. What did she have to be so cheerful for? Weren't all women supposed to be all hormonal and moody when they were pregnant? "You know the boys are due in a couple weeks and we still haven't finished the room. Robin has a terrible back and I, well, I can't do much even if I wanted to." She laughed. "I guess I'm just wondering if maybe you would want to come over and help us out."

I flipped around the pencil on my desk, watching it wiggle before it finally chose a side to settle on. "Do I have to?"

"No," she answered. "But it would mean a lot to me."

She was trying to guilt trip me. I could almost hear Lily's voice in the back of my mind "Harry she's reaching out. You should try. She's trying."

"What time?" I huffed, defeated.

"Whenever you get off of work," she said. "I'll cook dinner and everything. You have no idea how much this means to us!"

"All right," I said, bored. "I'll come by right after work. See you then." I pressed the end button and threw my phone on the desk. Hopefully painting would distract me from the draining feeling that was sure to come from Anne's many questions. She'd try and act all concerned- ask me how I was doing and if there was anything she could do. That's all anyone seemed to be able to say around me and it drove me nuts.

"Who was that?" Elena asked, not even bothering to stop and ask herself whether or not it was really her business. I liked that about her. She was mercilessly nosey.

"Anne," I shrugged. She drew her eyebrows together in confusion. "My mum."

"You call your mom by her first name?"

"Yeah," I said simply.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "She's never been much of a mum before. Why call her by a title she doesn't deserve."

She looked at me astounded for a moment before biting down on her lip. "But she's still your-"

"Your book," I changed the subject quickly. Elena may have been my friend, but even she didn't get to know about my fucked up family. "Tell me more about it."