Why Not?

What about him?

Stevie cried the whole way back to her condo, she just couldn't stop. She was so damn angry with herself and Lindsey of course, hadn't they grown up at all? What made them always put everything on the line, just to get all of their desires fulfilled? She thought both, it wasn't worth it and my God, was it worth it! She tried to find the answer as to why? Why were they doing this? Was it seriously just for sex? Jeremy was by far not the worst partner she had ever had and Kristen couldn't have been too bad either, Lindsey had three kids with her. What now? Would she be the reason for their divorce? And how was she going to tell Jeremy? Was he going to leave her too?

She twisted the key in the lock and pushed the door open, hearing Jeremy on the phone with someone. She didn't even have the time to decide on how she would tell him about her affair with Lindsey. Very slowly, just so she could stay away from him as long as possible, she took off her platform sandals, also bending over to pet Sulamith. 

"Is that you, Stevie?" 

"It's me, yeah." She replied, sighing as she met Jeremy in the living room. "Hey." She leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms. 

"Hi, yourself. You look tired."

"I guess I kind of am." She nodded, walking over to him to take a seat. "I didn't think you'd be back home already."

"And I was expecting to find you here."

"Well, uh..."

"Stevie, what's the matter?"

"There is no easy way to say this, Jerry..." She leaned forward, rubbing her hands anxiously. "I..."

"Just say it, whatever it is."

"You'll hate me." She could only whisper now, tearing up again. "I don't want you to hate me."

"Baby, I could never!" He pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair as she allowed herself a moment. "What is it?"

Stevie pulled back from him, wiping with her thumbs under her eyes. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, I deserve that."

"Will you just..."

"I was cheating on you with Lindsey."

After a few very long minutes... "I thought you were." 

"What do you mean? You thought about it? How did you know?"

"Oh come on, Stevie, you're all over each other every chance you get, you're constantly sharing looks and those small touches don't go unnoticed either. I honestly don't believe that men and women can be that good of a friend to each other, unless there is no sexual tension between them and there is none between you and him, which can only mean that you two were having sex to release it."

"Why didn't you confront me about it? Why did you stay with me?"

"Because I wanted to see if you were going to come to me about it yourself or not and I didn't want to accuse you of anything, because I didn't know for sure. It's not like I caught you in the act. And because..." He trailed off, getting up from the couch, needing some space away from her. "Because I love you and I wanted to believe you wouldn't do something like that."

"You know, I don't really have any real justification for my actions." Tears were rolling down her cheeks freely and she stopped bothering wiping them away. "I've tried, I thought about it and there's... I couldn't come up with anything. I don't know why I would ever risk my relationship with you, you're truly the perfect man for me and I love you, I do."

"What about him?" Jeremy went back to where Stevie was, sitting down on the floor in front of her, needing to see her eyes, when she was talking about her feelings.

"I love Lindsey like a friend, like a band mate, like my partner for so many years, but I'm not in love with him. I just think that he and I are really fucking stupid and we like to fuck shit up." 

Jeremy managed a weak smile, surprising her as he took her hands in his. "You mean it? There are no feelings and it was purely physical?"

"Yes, Jerry. I swear to you that it was nothing more than that. "

"I know I should be mad at you right now and probably leave, slamming the door on my way, but... what we have is more important to me. I don't want our relationship to be volatile like that, I want us to be able to talk and talk things out, and find ways how to solve our problems."

"I don't know how that works, Jeremy." She closed her eyes, leaning back against the back of the couch. "Every relationship I've been a part of was exactly the opposite. And I honestly expected you to smash things and storm out, I'm not used to this approach of resolving issues."

"When did it start?"

"After we came back from Europe."

"So, it's just been weeks?" Stevie nodded her answer. "We weren't technically together then."

"No, but that doesn't excuse my infidelity."

"I'm not saying it does. Just... I don't know what I'm saying really, what I do know though, is that I don't want us to break up. What you did is hurtful, but I'm willing to trust you enough not to do that again."

"You're too good to me." She smiled a little, responding to the kiss he pressed to her lips. "Since we're this open, so to say... I have a question for you and please, be truthful?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Who's Emily, Jerry? And don't lie."

He looked away, taking a deep breath. He didn't want her to find out this way. "Emily is..."