Love Is Weakness

Reconciliation

I woke up early the next morning, wanting to find Lexa before she became tied up with any meetings. I quickly dressed and strode out of my tent where I was intercepted by Octavia, who had seemingly been waiting for me to emerge.

I stilled and regarded her warily, wondering what she wanted. We weren't on good terms and this was the first time she had approached me to talk for weeks, resorting instead to icy glares and silent resentment.

'Clarke, I know we've been having differences of opinion lately, but I thought it was about time we talked this through' she said quickly before I had a chance to say anything, raising her head defiantly as if I would refuse.

I could think of better times and places to do this but if it cleared the air between us than I was more than willing and nodded in agreement.

'I understand that you don't agree with what I did that day-'

'You mean abandon an entire village and let 250 people die in an explosion rather than do the right thing and prevent their deaths' Octavia cut in bluntly, her steady gaze boring into me.

'Octavia, there was no right thing to do in that situation-'

'No Clarke, you and Lexa could've warned everyone but you just left us to die and saved your own skins' she hissed, the anger evident in her voice.

I pushed down my rising annoyance at being interrupted and tried to speak reasonably, even though Octavia's idea of talking things through seemed to be just making accusations against me so far.

'If we'd evacuated the village, how long do you think it would've taken them to figure out that we had someone on the inside and had Bellamy killed?' I replied, Octavia stilling at the mention of her brother.

'Then our people wouldn't have been freed from the mountain, or the Grounders that were imprisoned and they all would have died instead' I added, seeing that I was starting to get through to her.

'All of those people in that village died because of you' she stated, remaining tense as she clung to her anger.

'I made a choice Octavia' I told her firmly 'a choice that I didn't want to make but I had to. Either way people died and it rested on my decision, that's what being a leader involves. I have to live with what I did every day, but if I could go back I can't say that I would've chosen differently. You've never been faced with such a weighty decision before and I hope you never will, but what's done is done and there's nothing that can be changed about it now.'

Octavia considered my words for a moment and I almost thought that she was going to argue further but in the end I saw some of the tension ease from her body and her gaze softened slightly. 

'I know I've been acting cold towards you lately Clarke, and I won't be able to forget what happened at TonDc, but I will make more of an effort to move past it. There's little use us fighting over something that cannot be altered, I see that now' she told me, her defiant posture becoming more relaxed after the confrontation.  

'Thnakyou' I said in return, glad that she was finally moving past her anger and attempting to make things better between us. She nodded briefly and slipped away without another word, quickly dissapearing from sight.

I felt better now that we had finally discussed what had happened and now that the air was finally cleared we could try to move past this.

I resumed my walk to Lexa's tent but she emerged as I approached, walking the short distance left between us when she saw me. I gave her a small smile of greeting when she stopped in front of me, though I was still thinking of Octavia and her attempt at reconciliation.