A Harry Potter and Twilight crossover

Chapter 20-Lots of Comedy and This is so Retarded

Chapter 20-Lots of Comedy and This is so Retarded

"Jasperrrrr..." The wind wailed in Jasper's ear.

"Herumphgf." He said, swatting the air because he was busy reading a book in the library.

"Jasperrrrrrr..." It wailed again.

"What?" Jasper looked up.

"Do you have any Alka Selzterrrrrrr?" It asked.

"Oh yeah! I do!" Jasper pulled out a small tablet, opened the window and chucked the tablet out the window.

"Thank youuuuuu." The wind said.

"No problem." He closed it and walked away.

"Bitch please." Amerina walked by.

"Ah hahahahaha!" Jacob ran as fast as he could.

"Get back here!" The Bloody Baron chased him. He hid behind a tall student and the ghost passed him by.

"What did you do?" Renesmee walked over to him.

"I said a crude joke to him." Jacob said.

"Oh, how did it go?" Renesmee asked.

"Ok, FLASHBACK!" Jacob yelled.

"Hi Bloody Baron." Jacob walked over.

"Hello, Jacob right?" He asked.

"Yes, I have a ghost question." Jacob said.

"What is it?" The Bloody Baron asked.

"Can you get a boner?" Jacob asked.

"He's mad because of that?" Renesmee asked.

"Partly, I threw a bunch of Playboy's at him and ran." Jacob said.

"Were did you get the Playboy's from?" Renesmee asked.

"Stole them from Snape." He patted her head,

"Were is my Porno?" Snape came storming out of his office and down the hall way.

"This? This is your filth?" The Bloody Baron ran floated over to him.

"Uh, yeah." Snape said. He looked over to him. "Do you have a boner?" He asked.

"Ha! I knew it! Even in death, men get horny over blond hoes!" Jacob jumped out behind the student who was asleep.

"You stole my magazines?" Snape snapped.

"Yeah, these are magazines alright." Renesmee grabbed a copy and flipped through it. "Why are there boobs so big? Their like hot air balloons!" Renesmee said. Snape grabbed it.

"When your older maybe you'll understand." Snape said.

"ARG!" Ralph the Bear barreled past them, turning The Bloody Baron into a wisp of smoke and Snape ran, dropping all of his "magazines", and Jacob and Renesmee chased Ralph the bear. Ron, Harry, and Hermione walked past.

"Oohh, the latest copy of Wizard Digest!" Ron Bent down and grabbed one. He opened it and Harry and Hermione crowded around it. "Whoa, oh, wow, um." Ron said as he flipped through it. "Ahem, I'm going to go, um, tell, a teacher about these." Ron bent down and picked up all of the magazines and ran off.

"He's not going to, is he?" Hermione said.

"Nope, sorry Hermione." Harry said.

"For what?" Hermione asked.