Strong • W2S

XLI

Chapter Forty-One

"Are you sure? You should probably get some sleep Erin, we can talk about this some other time." He replied sitting up, I could tell he was stressed and so was I but I couldn't put this off any longer, we needed to sort out what was going on between us— if there even was an us anymore.
"I don't care how tired I am or how much sleep I need to get Harry, we both know fine well that we need to have the this conversation no matter how hard it might be." I joined him by propping myself up on the bed, I didn't face him instead I focused on the photograph of the two of us that hung up on the wall.
"I don't even know where to start." He broke the silence between us, he sounded upset and sincere so I turned around to face him.
"The beginning I guess." I shrugged as I wrapped my arms around my legs.
"I was pissed off, livid actually at the fact that you and Dylan kissed— or well that he kissed you and then we kept arguing or ignoring each other to the point that I physically couldn't take it anymore. When you came up to the room I was going to apologise for being a prick, not hearing you out properly when you told me what Dylan had done but with everything that happened with Katie I just jumped to conclusions and that was wrong of me so I'd like to apologise for that first." I nodded letting him know that he could continue, my mind was running with a million different questions but I was strugging to even spit a single word out.

"Before I got the chance to apologise we obviously started arguing again and I just completely lost it, I wanted to go out and drown my sorrows in vodka. I poured my heart out to the boys for hours, ended up getting way too drunk and made the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and trust me Erin, I've made plently of mistakes." He let out a deep breath before he continued.
"I swear I only kissed her, we never slept together and I never touched her. I guess when Ronnie walked in he just assumed that we'd slept together but I promise you Erin, I didn't. She tried, practically begged me to but I refused."

I believed him, I don't think the man fully had it in him to go all the way. What he did was wrong— of course it was wrong on many levels but I couldn't help myself from feeling relieved that he didn't sleep with someone else.

"I forgive you, I just want to move past this now though but Harry?" I spoke softly feeling more tired than I was ten minutes ago when we first came into the bedroom.
"Yeah?" He replied cupping my cheek with his hand, he rested his against mine as I closed my eyes.
"I might forgive you but I won't forget. You shattered my heart completely and then on top of that I went into labour with a child I didn't even know I was carrying. It was certainly a very confusing and difficult day for me, I'm still strugging to wrap my head around it— anyway I'm just rambling on now." At this point my eyes were open and staring into his blue ones.
"No, don't stop— I want to hear about the way you're feeling, especially about the past few days because I know it's mentally taken a toll on you."
"Yeah you can say that again, I'm just tired really or exhausted is probably a better word to explain how I'm feeling right now. I just wish that you would've been there when I was in the hospital, I was scared out of my mind Harry and all I wanted was you."
"I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from doing what I did, it was stupid so fucking stupid and I am so fucking sorry for what I did to you. You didn't— you don't deserve that Erin, I'll do everything I can to prove myself and make it up to you."
"You've done enough for me already Harry and I haven't even been home a full day yet, I genuinely can't thank you enough for looking after me, building all of Olivia's things and even taking it upon yourself to decorate her bedroom. I know it was all your idea by the way, Layla let it slip earlier on."
"Of course she did, I wouldn't expect anything less from here." He chuckled wrapping his arms around me and pulling my body closer to him.
"Are we okay now?" I asked him pulling away and bringing my eyes back up to his, he smiled in return and slowly nodded.
"If that's what you want then yes. I love you Erin and I'm sorry for being such a fuck up, I promise I'll never fuck up like that again. I'm all in now." I didn't reply because I didn't need to, I just nodded my smile and pressed our lips together for the first time in what felt like forever. I'd missed him, his touch, yes I know I might be an absolute dickhead for forgiving him this quickly but I just couldn't help myself. He's what I needed in my life to keep me grounded, to keep me from returning to the old me because if you knew me around a year ago, you would fucking hate me. I still hate that version of me but she's long gone, she's grew up and is a mother now.