Never Really Over (Bremmy 3)

Chapterish 49

| SEATTLE |

FAST FOOD ON THE BOULEVARD

I can count the number of times that I've panicked, I mean, like truly panicked, on one hand. Maybe a hand and a half. And to be clear, I don't mean like when you're at the mall (RIP) and you can't find your keys or you don't know if you put your Nokia cell phone down in American Eagle. I am talking monumental shift type of panic, like something just changes inside of you.

I'm riddled with that particular brand of panic right now. 

"No, but really. REALLY, Emmy." Trix's voice floats from my phone.

"Yes!" I laugh into my speaker. "Like, REALLY yes. I am fine."

I know I'm saying it to convince Trix, but also for myself. Because if I don't keep up my quota of lying to myself on a daily basis, you know the Earth might fall into oblivion.

I've spent the last 30 odd minutes getting the abso rundown of the Brooks and Cece fallout. Travis got the inside scoop, who then passed it along to Trix, who obviously did her bestie duty to tell me every single word. Grapevine in all its glory.

Of course, this is panic today is almost like a come down from the tabloids last week. It's not that I freaked the flying fuck out when I saw the story of Cece's maybe-baby on the way. In fact, I think part of me was maybe happy for them? Because if it were true, I'd feel happier myself. If that makes any sense. The maybe-baby took away the last veneer of hope. Of what-if.

And then there was the break-up news. The subsequent group text that I tried not to chime in on. And now I know all the deets.

"Because I am trusting you with this. Don't forget that," Trix says. "And I cannot wait to see you!! So soon!"

"I know!" I shake my head back to reality. "One month away."

It's the last week of August and that indescribable change is almost in the air. Dog days are drifting behind us and brisk, crisp fall's promise is just around the corner. 

"Ah, shoot. Isla just got up. I've gotta get her in the other room. Love you!! Bye!"

Trix abruptly hangs up, not even waiting for my 'love you too.'

The studio is too quiet now, without our conversation filling the open space. Raz left GZ2 an hour ago and Trix called a little after that. I'm sitting on my mat, phone open in front of me, hair in a bun and heart in a mess.

I've felt a lot of emotions the last few days, but I am fine. I am happy. Maybe I am a tad-bit reveling in the fact that his relationship has crumbled where mine has not, but I want the best for Brooks and even for Cece -for everyone really. I know, I know. How world-peace of me.

Zoë's text lights up my phone, telling me she's closed up Go Zen for the night and reminding me of our pre-class sip date at the coffee bar tomorrow.

9:17 PM

I find myself sorely stifling a yawn. This newfound giddiness has me considering texting Demi to go out tonight. Celebrate. I bring up our thread and just about to hit send when I hear a rap at the door.

Semi-startled, I look up to see Josh in the window. He's still in his office button-down, but changed into jeans. Must have been another late night at the office resulting in his current casual business attire.

I hop from the mat and unlock the door for him.

"Joshi!" I say, snuggling myself into him.

"Hey, Emmy." He kisses me on the lips, stepping back. "You always look so good in yoga fits."

"And you always look so handsome in your office outfits," I joke. I let my hands fall from around his neck. "Did you come for a one-on-one class?"

"Ha-ha," Josh fake laughs. "We just got done a prep. I was starving and figured I'd scoop you up to get some food on the way home."

"Sounds perfect. Let me clean up in the back. Gimme five minutes," I tell him.

I drag my yoga mat to the wall and drop it on top of the others. I spritz the disinfectant spray all over it. Josh follows me around the counter and towards the back powder room. Luckily, Zoë and I always keep wipes, deodorant, and perfume in the back. In case of spontaneous date nights post yoga class.

"I was thinking we could try Mexican. There's that new bodega spot over by the park." Josh's voice carries from the hall.

My sweaty, smelly sports bra has been discarded in the towel hamper and I won't lie, I am 100% checking myself out in the mirror.

"Babe? What do you think? You want to do that?" Josh appears in the doorway.

"I want to do you," I say, crossing the room to him, tits out and all.

"Emmy!" Josh pushes me back into the bathroom. "You can't walk around the studio topless!"

"Mhmm," I sigh into his lips.

His hands move down my bare back and slide beneath my yoga pants. As our kiss deepens, I move my hands into his sandy hair and down over his chest. I'm about to unbutton his shirt when he stops me.

"Not here," he says, shaking his head.

"But why not?" I pout. "I thought you were starving."

It's the way I say it -even I'm turned on.

"I am, trust me."

I get my way, because duh. In 10more minutes, I have Josh pressing me against the wall in GZ2's powder room. I feel him hard through his jeans and I couldn't wrap my legs tighter around his waist if I tried.

I moan into his mouth as his hand glides between my legs. I watch him in the mirror, enjoying every dripping second of this delicious sexcapade.

It's not even on my mind anymore -the tabloids -the break-up -the Brece of it all. I'm not thinking about seeing him in another month.

I'm envisioning Josh on my arm at the wedding. Savoring the crisp citrus scent on his neck right now. Feeling his hair between my fingers. Relishing our thriving relationship.

Reveling the fact that I won.