The Unforgiving Moon

41.

The air around me was buzzing—it felt loaded with some strange energy that connected me to my surroundings. I felt every leaf crush under my paws, every gust of wind ruffling my fur, I heard every bird around me, every squirrel, rat, and other beasts I had never encountered before.

I smelled them, too. As had I smelled the deer we'd now been trailing for a short while. 

Both Alphas flanked me, and I saw spurs of black pass by one side, and a light creamy golden shade blurred past the other side. They kept up with me, but still, I felt like I could outrun them.

And now I wondered if that meant something—now that I knew of my mother's heritage, I couldn't help but question such things. Was she gifted, blessed by Ksepiman? Though the word blessed now tasted poisonous on my tongue and in my thoughts because I now also knew none of us had been blessed by our Moons.

None, except Siddha, Selene, and now possibly me. Sariranyasa had done something to me—she'd given me powers, but I wasn't yet sure if those powers were a blessing or a curse.

Right now, they made me feel alive. As soon as I had reeked the deer, and Aven had growled his intentions at me, a primal part I hadn't realized I possessed had emerged.

The hunt now was thrilling—it excited me, and I had no time to think about what that meant for me, what it said about me.

Because in front of me, barely able to outrun me, was a life. A life that was completely and utterly at my mercy—and mine alone.

Aven nor Cailean were to lay a finger—or a paw—on the prey. It was mine.

I had tried to fight it at first. I had felt the swell of darkness in my soul the moment I had heard Aven's dominant growl, and I had tried to hide it, and when that hadn't worked, I had tried to hide from it.

But it had edged its roots in my soul—and the one person you can never run from is yourself.

And as soon as that darkness had felt my tremble, my slight moment of hesitation, it had grown and grown and grown, until I was trotting instead of walking and then running instead of trotting and eventually hunting instead of running.

I didn't know on what grounds we were currently passing by, though I suspected we were almost in Apicya by now. We'd been on the go for more than a day, and we had barely stopped for rest when our Moon came out. 

And she shone so brightly, and beautifully—and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe, perhaps, that was for me. Or for the inkling of her sister that she now felt had rerisen in this world.

Once I had my eye on the deer—on the poor creature who still carried hope she would make it out alive—it all came naturally to me.

The black web of powers reached out of me, it burst out of my skin and prickled my senses, and the next thing I knew, Aven, Cailean, and I were feasting, filling our hungry bellies. 

And that dark part of my soul never left me. It stayed awake, it buzzed underneath my skin and it reached out to the corners of my heart.

And I didn't put it away, not until the aftertaste of the fresh blood on my tongue was long, long gone.