The Unforgiving Moon

23.

"How are you feeling, blessed Alpha?" Kailu asked, and her hand reached for his forehead.

Aven flinched under her touch, and he grunted as his eyes flashed an intense shade of silver, a warning for the healers to keep their distance. The sunlight that seeped in through the windows shimmered in his eyes, and it was a beautiful sight if it weren't for everything going on.

Kailu did just so, and withdrew her hand before the warning could turn into more. Weak as he was; if he was awake, he was deadly. Everyone in this room could feel it now that he was awake—his powers were slowly returning, and so was that cold, bone-shuddering feeling that came with it.

"Aven," Lotta breathed.

His eyes flashed to her, but I couldn't read what passed through them—relief, chaos, confusion, terror, anguish. It could have been a mixture of them all.

"You are safe here, blessed Alpha," Kailu continued, but Aven's eyes stayed glued on Lotta as he ignored the blonde healer.

And then his eyes traveled to mine, and my world stopped. Once again, I couldn't read what emotions passed in them, but it was clear that he felt something when he looked at me.

His eyes widened in the slightest way possible, barely noticeable for someone who wasn't paying attention. But I was, and I felt nervous and scared, and fragile, though he was the one lying in the bed covered in stitches.

Was he surprised to see me? Confused that I'd saved him? That I had come for him? I didn't know and I couldn't ask because Kailu and Leya were still here, and Aven's eyes drilled me into the ground and tore me apart and surely it couldn't be anything good he was thinking and feeling.

My eyes drifted away and got caught on the blue ring on Leya's finger—the shimmering shade of the ocean water, and I wished I could float away in it, far, far away, and not come back.

I felt Aven's gaze pierce me through without looking at him, and I felt it when they finally left me.

"How are you feeling?" Lotta inquired after the several pleas from both healers were left unanswered.

Aven swallowed, but didn't answer—and that was answer enough. He was scarred, both inside and out. And a few days of rest and cleaning wounds wouldn't heal him; not in the slightest. I knew that better than anyone, I knew what Beckett could do to a person because he'd done it to me countless times.

Kailu and Leya tried reaching out to him a few more times, but he didn't let them touch him. Eventually, the healers gave up and left the room to give us some space.

Lotta didn't hesitate and made her way over the instant Kailu had left his side.

"I'm so sorry, Aven," she muttered. "I'm so sorry... I tried to come for you sooner, but I... I..."

Her words got lost. I wasn't sure Aven heard them, and if he did, whether he listened or not.

"I couldn't find you, but I knew you were still alive," Lotta continued, and the crack in her voice made my bones shake and my skin shiver.

His face was the only thing that moved. His eyes were now stuck on the ceiling, and the rest of his body stayed stoic in the bed. I wondered why that was—tiredness, anxiousness, pain? The Alpha showed a side of him I believed not many had seen before, and it felt unsettling to see him like this. So breakable.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it, though there was so much that needed to be said. So many words that needed to be uttered, but they got stuck in my throat and refused to pass over my lips.

"I want to go home," Aven muttered with a strained voice. The words sounded broken and torn, and I knew that that was how he must be feeling.

That was how I felt, anyway.