The Unforgiving Moon

40.

The day after the meeting had been grueling. The prospect of having to go back to Hidden Moon, where I had spent my happiest times with Jerr, made my heart ache in ways I hadn't thought I could feel again.

And then my mind turned because I'd see Tymen and Ivy again.

And then it switched again because I'd have to travel with Aven and Cailean. Alone. Because I needed to train, and both Alphas saw it as a priority that I remained by Aven's side until I had the proper control. I knew what they meant though—they wanted to keep me close, so they could forge me entirely to their wants and needs.

I'd spent the entire night battling my powers over it, because I did not agree with their mindset. But I needed to train, and when I asked Lotta if she couldn't help, she had refused because she couldn't comprehend what she could teach me that Aven couldn't do ten times better.

So I was forced to remain by Aven's side—which he seemed to hate even more than I did—until I was truly in charge of the curse flowing in my blood.

All the preparations for our trip to Apicya had been done as secretly as possible, so any spy would only be able to alert Beckett of our plans when we were already well on our way.

There weren't many things to do—mostly just our bags we'd have to carry, where a fresh set of clothes was stashed so we wouldn't present ourselves naked to Dell and his pack. But we'd run the entire way there as wolves, meaning we also wouldn't have to run for very long.

I had seen Aven shuffle away some of the black stone pointed arrows we'd retrieved after Spitta, and the reminder of the severity of Beckett's threat had only served to make me even more anxious about this trip.

To reach Apicya, we had to travel through enemy grounds. When I had done the trip with Jerr, it had been easy to pose as two traveling commoners. But now I was traveling with two of the most recognizable wolves alive—one dark as the night sky with our Moon itself in his eyes, and one golden white. No one could mistake them for anyone else than the two Alphas of the Death Moon and Young Moon packs.

And we didn't know yet how much of the black stone Beckett had mined—and how much he had supplied his allies with. So we also didn't really know what we'd encounter on our journey to Apicya, and that was perhaps the scariest part.

All those thoughts and fears plagued my mind as I made my way down from the third floor, Aven walking steadily in front of me.

My heart felt heavy in my chest, and my mind was still buzzing. Aven had called me to his office, for what I had presumed would be another small training session before we left.

It hadn't been, though. Aven had called me to his office, to inform me of the news that we would have to hunt during our trip to Apicya. He and Cailean had decided that carrying food in our bags would only be useless weight.

They had also agreed, that I would be the one who'd need to provide dinner for us. And I'd have to do so using my powers—I was explicitly forbidden to kill any prey using my teeth, claws or anything else.

I knew it had been coming, but still I hadn't been prepared. The prospect of having to kill a creature made me feel sick to the stomach, and light in the head.

Aven had shown no understanding. He'd made the point that I ate meat from the kitchens nearly every day—and he called me hypocritical for now struggling with killing animals. He had grumbled something about my twisted morals, before making his way down and ordering me to follow him so we wouldn't keep Cailean waiting for too long.

I had been caught up in myself, but my mind snapped back as soon as my nose registered the revolting air as soon as I made my way out the front door.

The rotting smell of Mallee's corpse wafted up the stairs, and I had to hold in a gag. The warm weather hadn't helped the process her body had undergone, and it was nauseating already to merely look at the showcase of her body—let alone smell it.