The Celestial Way

Chapter 18.3 - Questioning the Way

Airo made another command room meeting. Like the simulations predicted, the situation had become dire, and many tactical paradigms needed readjustment. He was even considering to replace the Order's whole warfare doctrine; they simply didn't have enough sapients-power to continue following their current strategy.

The meeting concluded, and Airo was about to retire to make some private revisions, when Magus approached him on the way out of the command room.

"Walk with me for a spell," the old Knight said.

Airo was irritated at this casual display of authority. Even so, he followed Magus silently. The two of them strolled along Ilsorin's vast hallways and took a cargo elevator to the uppermost levels. Here there was almost no traffic, as the area lacked residential amenities in general, and most sections were hangar space for fighter craft or repair bays. Airo was about to ask what was the point of this, when Magus said:

"I wanted to tell you something."

Airo bristled. "Is this another one of your talks, old man?"

"No. No 'talks' this time." Magus stopped before a cluster of aethertech megafluxers and looked him in the eyes. "I want to apologize."

Airo paused, frowning. "What?"

Magus sighed, an unusual gesture, and looked away. "I am sorry I did not prevent what happened to Zenassa," the old Knight said, making visible effort to meet Airo's gaze again. "I am sorry you had to endure such a tragedy."

Airo watched him silently. He was too shocked to form a reply.

"I never realized the extent of your suffering," Magus continued. "Or your ability to turn that suffering into such a terrible strength. If I had known sooner... I tried to help both of you – you and Ferrtau. In his case, I found a way to heal the guilt which ripped his soul apart. Yet for you... I failed to give you the means to ease your grief."

"So you decided instead to throw me into permanent cryostasis, where my soul could rot away?" Airo asked.

"My intention never was for you to stay imprisoned forever. The idea was... to put you away temporarily, until I could find a way to help you."

"It took you long enough."

"On the contrary," Magus objected, some of his reticence returning. "I found a way, and the world paid an abysmal price because of it. It was a discovery that had unforeseen consequences, consequences which imperiled everything. That is why I set my findings aside, and engaged with the pressing matters which had arisen. Yet in so doing, you were left alone and abandoned."

"It is too late to grow a conscience, old man," Airo snapped. He folded his arms. "And I never wanted your help, anyway."

"I am aware of both points," Magus said. His lips pursed, another unusual expression. "Yet the events of late... they reminded me some things. About forgotten truths and ignored signs. This is why I give you my apologies, even if they are seven centuries out of date. I am sorry, Airo."

He was taken aback at the sincere emotion in the old Knight's voice. "Is there anything else?" he asked, surprised he had to put effort to actually sound annoyed. Magus caught his hesitation.

"There is," the old Knight said. "It is something I realized when I saw you and Veralla at the funeral. You never needed my help, Airo. Your fate as the Dragonslayer was never set in stone. You needed compassion and love, not pity and sympathy. You needed acceptance." Magus continued softly, "So feel accepted, Airo. Even when you are alone, you still walk within the light of the Fire Eternal. Even when you follow a terrible path, you still do so among the stars of the Great Cosmos. Feel accepted, Airo, and you shall see the Way.