Chapter 11

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"So, tell me about yourself

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"So, tell me about yourself."

My fingers flexed against the fabric of my jeans. "What do you want to know?" I licked my dry lips. Anxiety ate at me the longer I sat in this goddamn chair.

"Tell me why you're here to start." My therapist Regina sat across from me in her bright pink chair, a notebook and pen in her pink manicured hand. She waited patiently for me to gather my thoughts.

"I-" I looked up at the ceiling, smoothing the fabric of my jeans. "I'm here because lately, it feels like I'm losing control of my life again." The words that sat heavy on my chest flew out.

"And why do feel like that? What triggered this loss of control?" She nodded, encouraging me to expand.

I bit down on my lower lip, "My ex-boyfriend came back into my life a few weeks ago. I'm supposed to hate him, and I do. But he offered me a really good job and he's been helping me out lately. It's almost as if nothing has changed for him, and I'm the one still stuck in the past."

"What happened between the two of you that made you break up?" She crossed a tan leg over the other.

I looked down at the marble floor, embarrassed by what I was about to say, "he left me the night after we had sex. I woke up to a note telling me that he had to leave. Then he cut all connections off with me. I bumped into him a few years ago but I walked away before he could say anything."

"I'm sorry to hear that Jade," Regina frowned, her red lipstick bright on her small lips. "No one wants to be abandoned right after a special night. Did you ever bring this up to him?"

"No," I sheepishly shook my head. "I'm scared to know the answer. I've been mad at him for all this time I don't know if his truth will even fix anything."

"Do you still have feelings for him Jade?"

I snapped my eyes up to her and shook my head violently. "No of course not. He broke my heart, and I'd never get back together with him. Ever."

"It seems like you're in a compromising situation. Although it is natural for you to want to remain angry at him. It may be time for you to get  some closure, especially since you'll be seeing him on a day-to-day basis." She scribbled in her notebook, jotting down notes.

"How do I do that?" I tilted my head. Closure did sound like something I needed. For a long time, I pondered over what Reid was doing all those years. I'd get angry all over again when I remembered how he left things or when I gave myself false hope that his answer would make me forgive him.

"For your peace and mind, you should talk things out with him and set some boundaries. Ask him to lunch and flat out ask him why he left. Whether his answer is valid or not, it may help you understand why he left and give you the closure you need. Think about it."

"Hey Jade baby, how are things going," Halle stopped by my office. A large smile split her face in half, a hand resting on her stomach. After Halle found out she was pregnant, her emotions were heightened and her hand stayed on her stomach.

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