"What choo workin' wit? A gangsta bitch... " NO BARS by jt
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BABY KEESHA CONTINUED
My life's a fucking paranoid blur of criminal mischief. A gangsta princess, I hurry up and get in this fucking bulletproof with Kayla's driver. Toyia took those fucking cocaine bricks.
"Call me." I text my sister while Kayla and I ride back to our neighborhood, with Kayla fussing.
"With all the shit she's got goin' on in her life -- hotels and businesses and shit and the Pitts Foundation– And yo daddy told me that she swore down that she understood that she's the main one who's gotta stay squeaky clean for this entire family. But naw, Queen Toyia just gotta flex her fuckin' muscle and run shit," Kayla fusses, and I just close my eyes.
And my tears for Tutty come down. Kayla grabs my hand.
"I need you on my side, Baby Keesha. I ain't trying to upset you or talk bad about your sister. And I thank you for staying down for me back there. I ain't trying to get all in yo personal shit, whatever is up with you and yo kids. But I'm the realest bitch when I say to you – that we've gotta hold on to our sanity, however we can. We can't let this shit just break us, and let our kids worry us to damn death, who else gon' be there for they asses if we drop? And I'm saying this shit to you because I need to hear it my damn self. I miss him. I need yo daddy," Kayla chokes out to me, and I just nod in agreement, choking back my tears, as that awful scene with Tutty keeps spinning in my head.
I fucked up and killed Tutty's disrespectful ass mama. And everything just twisted.
"I need you to just give me a chance to make sure everybody understands that from now on you got it. Let me work all this out," I tell Kayla when we get to her house.
"You told Mauricio that WE got it. Remember?" she whispers back. I nod, looking down at my phone. Both these bitches crazy.
"It's my sister calling me back, so let me go cuz I know it's about to pop off. I've got it though, I'll call you. Just chill until I hit you back, don't say shit," I instruct this crazy ass.
"I won't, just don't forget, and kiss Bobby for me," Kayla tells me-
"Oh, and Baby Keesha," she looks back at me before she gets out, so I just let Toyia go to voicemail and I look up at my damn crazy, young ass stepmother.
"Carter foreva," Kayla tells me, and I bite my lip with the words sending a pain all through my heart. Rippin' and tearing me apart.
"No place." It suddenly comes out my mouth, and with a vengeance. Because my daddy was the king of this shit, and it's been in me from the start, and I'm sick of feeling ashamed and apologizing for it.
I realize I'm ashamed because I'm proud.
And suddenly – in a flash-- a memory comes back to me so clear. Of the time I caught my parents having sex when I was like 10 or 11 years old. So vividly it hits me in this limo, heading for my house.
