dare # minsung

i loved him and he loved me

After Minho had confessed to me we basically started actually dating. For real this time without all the misunderstandings and mixed feelings. Having a boyfriend who was not Seo Changbin felt incredibly weird but in a good way. More as in, I always thought Changbin would have been my first boyfriend. I was 100% over him. There was no doubt for my feelings towards him!

In fact, I fell incredibly hard for Lee Minho but I didn't tell him... yet. It had been two months and I never got to talk to him about how I felt because everytime I opened my mouth, it seemed like I was about to jinx something. My therapist already told me that I had to get over myself and stop sabotaging my life just because I felt like I didn't deserve happiness and it was going to be ripped away from me as soon as I turned it into something realer.

Such as telling my boyfriend that I loved him.

My therapist was nuts by the way. He had a degree in nonsense! I was just hiding my feelings to protect not only myself but us both. Things were going incredibly well, I couldn't let emotions get in the way.

Which sounded stupid considering that our whole relationship was built on feelings and technically depended on it.

Maybe I wanted to be stupid. Stupid people had it easier in life.

"SUNGIE!" When Minho yelled my name, I suddenly found my way back into reality instead of my endless thoughts about life as I was spiraling into nothingness.

With a hand on my chest and a loud scream – one that could pass as a mating sound for birds – I looked at him in shock. "What the hell was that for?" As always, he shrugged nonchalantly. "You didn't hear me the first two times."

Points were made.

We were currently at my place watching a movie while cuddling on my bed as my parents had thankfully left for a business trip. Or something. I honestly wasn't sure, they didn't even work together but as soon as I heard the words "We will be back by Friday" I invited him over.

It was a boring Wednesday. After contemplating whether or not to dare and ask him to stay over, I decided to just go for it. Surprisingly he was on board with it. I however was growing anxious. Two boys in a room, they might kiss.

Just kidding. We already did obviously. But all the proximity that wouldn't end with a good nights kiss would definitely make me blurt out some words I might regret.

The stupid L-word.

We were watching Train to Busan. A classic. Aside from watching Anime, we both found that we liked thrillers and horror films as well. Gore made me cringe but the storylines were interesting still.

I got up from the floor and sat next to Minho who simultaneously pressed pause on the movie.

"What is it that you so desperately needed to talk about?" "Seungmin."

His name was now cursed and everytime he was mentioned, I felt anger coming up. Most definitely because he was Minho's first love. The way Changbin was mine but at least Changbin and I didn't date nor did we kiss! Even though he almost did kiss me but I rejected him.

"Seungmin?" "Seungmin." With my index finger I told Minho to wait a second while I pretended that I needed to vomit. With full force I felt my pillow hit my head. That's when I realised that Minho was dead serious. Didn't happen often. Haven't even seen it happening ever. Very hot I must say.

"You idiot. Listen to me." When I nodded and started playing with his hands, he continued. "Actually, the reason I was looking forward to staying overnight was to tell you everything about my past and how it may affect our relationship. Dating me isn't going to be easy but I will try everything to try to keep you out of this complicated world of mine."

Oh wow. That was not what I had expected. The way he cared for me always made me feel safe and I couldn't wish for a better partner. What did I ever do to deserve someone as great as him?
Tears started swelling in my eyes as I pulled him closer to me to kiss him. It was a slow kiss and I tried to put all my feelings into it. Which should have been a red flag on my side already.

I needed something like an ambulance rushing through my brain telling me to shut the fuck up but I didn't and that's when I made the biggest mistake in our relationship.

"Dating you has already been more than complicated. Minho, I love you and I love every side of you and every world you're part of. Even if it turns out you're from Mars, I will love you. Because no one else makes me feel the way you do. So please, don't go through this on your own."

The smile I had received was the most beautiful I had ever seen. My heart was racing but his smile radiated warmth I hadn't felt before. He was always beautiful but right now he was the prettiest. His bunny teeth were very prominent but nothing compared to his eyes glowing in the dark of my room.

"You love me?" Not realising the weight of my words before, I suddenly was hit hard. "I did say that, didn't I?" With a warm feeling rising up my face, my neck started feeling very itchy.

Yet nothing could have prepared me for my boyfriend tackling me on my bed and peppering my face with kisses. Obviously, like the cliché had written it out for us, leaving my lips for last.

"I love you too. So much, Hannie."

So, the night was spend with what we loved doing the most. Kissing and more kissing and then some more kissing. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life it would have been kissing Lee Minho.

And even if I was feeling anxious about our relationship, I knew we would be fine. I always had known that.

I loved Lee Minho and Lee Minho loved me.

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a/n: this sounds like the end but i don't think i am ready to let go yet.