My Heart Slips Away With You!

The First Night

Janaki helped the maids who were draping the saree for Thamizhini. They stayed with her even though she told them that she can do that all by herself. Janaki was so caring and affectionate with Thamizhini that she could not deny her request. 

“You don't have to do anything, Thamizhini. Be like a princess. Do anything that makes you happy. All I ask of you is only one thing. My son’s happiness. Keep him happy.” Janaki told Thamizhini and she nodded her head to her mother-in-law.

She has talked to Janaki on the phone a handful of times in the two years she had been with Vishnu but it was only today she saw Vishnu’s parents in person. She liked her instantly. 

“Please, athai (aunty), I can get ready myself.” Thamizhini tried to shoo away the two maids.

“Ok, I will be just outside. Call me if you need anything. Get ready quickly and come to the pooja room.” 

“Ok, athai,” Thamizhini told her and locked the door after they all went out. She sat in front of the dresser mirror and looked at her reflection. The lavender-colored saree was flowing on her like a second skin. Her long hair was put on her left side in a beautiful fishtail braid. The bangs she cut to frame her face fell perfectly on either side of her face until her chin made her look more beautiful. The fresh yellow threads on her neck and the streak of vermillion on her hair partition made her heart well up in pride that her love reached the right destination. It also added to her beauty. 

Despite her happiness, her heart is also filled with fear. She had spoken hatefully to him in the morning. Her thick hurtful words failed to get the desired result. There is a truth that she hid from Vishnu and when he gets to know it, he will hate her. Now she has two options. One is to tell him the truth and get out of his life pushing them into a never-ending agony and the other is to live a happy life with him until he gets to know the truth on his own. Either way, she has to exit his life and she had to choose when!

She can never live without him. He is goodness personified. She hated her fate which made her hide the truth from him. “I love you, Vishnu!” She said in the air as a drop of tear fell out of her eye. “There is no life for me without you. I wanted to vanish away from your eyes. I forced my tongue to hurt you to escape this wedding. But destiny united me with you. I believe in destiny. I believe we are meant to be together. I am going to live my life with you as happy as I can. I will savor every second of it until my last breath after you chase me away!” She told her reflection with welled-up eyes.

With her mind and heart made up on what she is going to do, she finished her glam-up and went to the pooja room that was on the other side of the hall that looked like a stadium. Janaki was waiting there for her. After a little ritual, Janaki took her to the elevator and took her to the second level of the mansion. 

“I don't know what to tell you. If any of your relative ladies have come along with you, they might have given you some tips and advice. I don't think it will be right for me to talk to you about this. Take care, don't be afraid. Take it slow. All the best.” Janaki told her daughter-in-law with a lot of hesitation as they walked out of the elevator towards Vishnu’s room.

“I will take care, athai. Thank you.” She said and Janaki left her at the door and went back to the elevator to get down to her place!

Thamizhini took deep breaths before knocking on the door. 

“Come!” Vishnu opened the door and let her in. His face looked as if it was made of rock, void of any emotion. He walked to the bed that was in the middle of the room. The room was four times as big as her room in her home. The huge wooden bed looked antique with lots of intricate designs on the headboard and legs. He sat on the bed crossing his legs and looked at her. 

Thamizhini gulped down that ball of fear back to her stomach and walked towards him. He eyed her to sit near him as she tried to touch his feet. She sat near him with her head hung low.

“Do you want a divorce? I am ready to arrange it for you. You are not required to live with me. Especially when you think I am not man enough. You are right. I listen to all the words my brother tells me. I have reasons for my behavior and I am not required to explain anything to you. I will die if he asks me to. I love you, but that doesn't mean I will listen to you and revolt against my brother. If you think you can turn me against my brother or talk ill of him, this relationship will never work out.” Vishnu spoke every word with much clarity. This is not the first time he is warning her about her disrespect towards his brother but Thamizhini is thick skinned, he thought. Today was the last straw! She has spoken a whole lot.

“I am sorry!” Thamizhini said when he gave a pause.

“Why do you say sorry? You can ask for an apology when you do something without knowing what you are doing. But you have spoken so many words in your sound mind. So don't be sorry. It is unnecessary.”

“Vish! Please. I was… I was worried for my sister. I didn't know…”

“Shut up, Mini. Don't lie that you didn't know what you were talking about. You said you don't love me. You were very sure to not get married to me. Don't lie that it was because of Magi’s disappearance. It was your wish. You didn't want to marry me. I may not know the reason but I can sense your feelings. I didn't know what I have done that hurt you. I feel your love for me but at the same time, I feel your deception too. I am confused.” Vishnu said in a go that stunned Thamizhini. 

“Vish…” She could not form any words.

“You have always taken me and my love for granted. You have so much trust in my love but only it doesn’t give me happiness. You throw me away willfully knowing that I will crawl back to you in no time. But not this time, Mini. Your words have hurt me too much this time. I need time.”

“I am sorry, Vish, I was scared.. I …”

“You must be tired, Mini. I know you haven't slept last night. Sleep, you need it.” He told her and lay on the bed facing the opposite side of her.

“Vish, it is our first night!” Thamizhini told him out of inability. She had numerous dreams about this night. They have been waiting for this night for two years now. He has always been an impatient man. After they both declared their love, it was always she who stopped him from advancing on her. She had stopped him whenever he tried to cross his limits. But this calm and composed Vishnu who stays away from her scared her. 

“You look and sound so different to me, Mini. It’s like I don't know you anymore. Now thinking back, you have been behaving oddly with me ever since Veer and Magi’s wedding date was set. You have been avoiding me and an idiot I am, I thought you are busy with the wedding preparations. Let's take it slow, Mini. You said you hate me in the morning and want to have sex in the night? I don't want to have sex with you, Mini. I want to make love to you. I cannot do that when you clearly said you hate me.” 

“I was frustrated, Vish. I didn't want to get married without my sister. When you cornered me stating your brother’s compulsion as a reason, I got angry. I agree I spoke harshly. I shouldn't have done it. I am sorry.” She shed tears and it churned his heart. 

“Pch, stop crying. I am not in the mood for this drama. I am tired.” He told her frustrated. 

“Vish!?” She whispered in shock. Her tears don't mean anything to him? Does he think she is putting on a drama? His open denial hurt her ego. 

“Please, Mini, get some sleep. We will talk tomorrow.” He told her and closed his eyes to avoid further conversation. 

She swallowed her sobs and went into the restroom to wash her face. When she came back, he was already asleep. She lay on the other side of the bed and the long day with waves and crashes of emotions pushed her into the hands of sleep almost immediately. 

“What are you hiding from me, Mini? What is bothering you? Why are you fluctuating so much in your decision?” Vishnu asked his wife who was fast asleep. He rolled near her and pulled her into his arms. Her child-like face with sharp nose never failed to melt his heart. Her thin upper lip and plump lower lip with a little mole on her chin have always made him mad. His memories took him back to those days before they expressed their love for each other.

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