BLINDFOLDED || J.JK x Reader

chapter 5 | In between

I try my best to clear my mind from the invasive thoughts I have been attempting to erase, but once I put my glass down and open my hand, someone lays their warm one over it and covers the pill, and even though I know who this is from the ring I perceived, I still glance up at them, with an aching heart in my chest.

"I know it's painful, but try not to," he takes the pill away from me, and I raise my eyes up to him. "I can't. You don't know—"

"I don't know what it's like, you're right," he predicts my words. "But I know what it can cause you in the long term. Try a little harder, y/n. Please. This is for you," he believes I still care about myself, not aware of the condition the agonizing pain puts me in every single day. I cannot even live like a normal human being anymore, it feels like hell, and it seems like no one can relate or understand. "You know that the more you take those pills, the more you become sensitive to pain."

"Jungkook," I hold the palm of my hand up to tell him to put it back on it, staring into his eyes. He does not move or does as asked, but instead, only maintains eye contact. "You're hurting yourself more than anything with this, and we both know it."

"If you had to live with that every damn day of your life, you would do the exact same, trust me," I touch his hand and try to open it, but he tightens it and drifts it away. "You could deal with the pain without taking this in the past," he ventures to bring this up, bring what I do not want to talk or even think about anymore.

My body freezes for a moment, remaining quiet, before I manage to control my emotions and grab his wrist. "I don't want to keep doing this in front of everyone, Jungkook. Stop."

Without listening to me, he takes my hand in his empty one and drags me in the backyard, which is only a terrace with a pool. He leads me to a corner to not have people near us, and he gazes deep into my eyes.

"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you again and that you're hating me, but we can try to do this together like at the beginning. It used to work—"

"It used to," I underline, painfully. "But it's different now. So stop, please. It hurts, it's ruining my time here, and I just want to feel okay and enjoy some time with my friends," I fight against my body to not shed a tear. I have cried enough in front of him, I do not want my weaknesses to show again. "Why is it different?" he asks for clarification, not taking the hints.

I do not say a thing for a few seconds, not handling this moment and all the struggle it engenders, both emotionally and physically.

"You'll take another one even if I keep this, won't you?" he knows me well, and I admit the truth by nodding, getting him to sigh and give me the pill back. "At least try to avoid taking more this month."

I pretend to not have heard him since it is too hard to promise such a thing, and I look up at him. "I'm sorry for worrying you like that."

"Don't," he peeks down at my lips. "Don't say that. I know it's not your fault. I just care too much about you," he fakes a smile and cannot hold back from dropping his attention down once more, before walking away to go back inside.

•••

10:20 pm.

As the pain, which is nearly numbing one side of my face and neck with its intensity, is ruining this day with my friends, I breathe out and lift one hand up to my throat to knead the sensitive spots as the boys are playing games on Angelo's PS5.

It has already been thirty minutes since I took a pill, and I can tell the pain is starting to fade away, but I can also feel the side effects kick in which makes me nervous.