❝ 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 ❞
hi, it's me clara again and this time around i've decided to head forwards a new route in my songw...
Little by little, I could feel my ambition becoming brittle
Oh, how dare I let myself lose myself in the process?
I didn't mean for that to happen, no, those weren't my planned intentions
Should a sunshine really compromise? Losing all my light til it becomes dark
Welcoming a life I never reckoned I'd live with open arms
As if I wouldn't end up with a broken heart
CHORUS:
What a foolish one I've been
Being this delusional should be a sin
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Thinking that it could be like Disney
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Believing you could someday be mine
When in reality all I did was just waste my precious time
How is it not a sin? Should've been a goddamn crime and I don't know why
2ND VERSE:
I'm countering on the role of a melodramatic bitch
Feeling this heartbroken should be a sin
In reality I don't care much about the love we lost
But more about the fact that I really thought we were heading somewhere
I once wrote that this feeling wasn't rare, and it's not, but it sure stings
I hate that you're so unaware of how illusing you were to me
CHORUS:
What a foolish one I've been
Being this delusional should be a sin
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Thinking that it could be like Disney
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Believing you could someday be mine
When in reality all I did was just waste my precious time
How is it not a sin? Should've been a goddamn crime and I don't even know why
BRIDGE:
All that we built in my sacred Faded Daydreams
Perfectly curated to fantasize consistently of what will never be
Was it all a stupid teenage dream? Now feeling so naive
I was just so in love, so in love, and now what? We're done.
God, I feel so dumb
CHORUS:
What a foolish one I've been
Being this delusional should be a sin
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Thinking that it could be like Disney
Having faith in you and me, you and me always
Believing you could someday be mine
When in reality all I did was just waste my precious time
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This is one of the most personal songs that I've EVER written, so I've been stalling on publishing it. The time never felt right I guess. Musically, this has the vibes of 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson and 'All I Wanted' by Paramore. Those two songs are SO addicting 😭 I was initially inspired to write this because I was listening to 'Foolish One' by Taylor Swift, so I referenced it the chorus. I also recall reading an announcement on wattpad about someone being delulu and I said that I was the definition of delulu. I immediately knew that I wanted to write a song called that and wrote it up in 15 minutes.
January was a month in which emotional wounds still felt fresh and I was getting back on track with my musical ambitions I had sort of seldomly ( but not completely ) given up on during December. It was a different time and honestly, it was on me for just not being able to balance two hopes at once. I will admit that it's MY own fault to lose myself in love the way I did- I'M the one to blame for that. No one ever asked anything from me, just that I was happy, and during that time period of December being in love fulfilled my then happiness.
I think that the next time I fall in love, I'll know that I can be in love AND have a successful music career I enjoy. I feel really healed from whatever had me feeling down in January ( which was multiple things at once ), but yeah, I'm doing better :)
I've quit being delulu when it comes to love but I'm still delulu about making it in the music industry 🥲
