written: july 19th, 2023 + july 20th, 2023 + july 21st, 2023
tw: mentions of eating disorders and self-harm
a/n: i'm writing this because lately i've seen some users online dealing with ed's and body issues and i think telling my story, of what i went through late 2021 and half of 2022, might have you think twice about undergoing dangerous eating habits and a deadly lifestyle that shoudn't be glamorized or praised.
i want it to be known that recovery IS possible. i wrote this song as a "letter" to younger me and anyone who is going through it. i'm 115 pounds (5'2, i'm short lol but i'm cool with that ) and managed to gain 25 pounds and in a much more healthier mental state than last year. more on that after the song.
"fun" fact: this is the 3rd song in the beauty trilogy- songs written about body insecurities and eating disorders. the 1st was 'Beautiful' written april 2021, the 2nd was 'beauty is pain' published in my other songbook in april 2022. that song is written in the pov of ana. this is the 3rd song and instead of stating insecurities, i'm telling you to love yourself the way you are.
1ST VERSE:
Beauty queen at fifteen
An ideal body and being skinny
Looking good is top priority
Even if it means eating only 5 fucking calories
Wave from the stage
Like the good girl you are
Breath in and don't faint
Any mistakes will taint
Darling, you don't have to hurt this way
PRE-CHORUS:
What started with eating less bread
And cutting back from carbs
Lead to becoming obsessed
And hiding in the dark
CHORUS:
Gazing sadly at the magazines
Thinking 'she's all i wanna be"
Beauty queen, listen to me
Save yourself before it's too late
Beauty queen, please
Every body isn't built the same
Save yourself from the pain
Save yourself from the shame
It doesn't have to be this way
2ND VERSE:
Beauty queen; obsessing over calories
Beauty queen, always dieting
And she'll silently scream
Wondering if life is worth living
She's feeling so weak
She could barely breathe
Her health is worsening
'Beauty is pain' she says
She no longer feels alive
She rather die
PRE-CHORUS:
What started with less carbs
Lead to self-hatred
YOU ARE READING
𝐅𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 ( 𝑴𝒚 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔 )
Poetry❝ 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 ❞ hi, it's me clara again and this time around i've decided to head forwards a new route in my songw...
