Unexpected (MxM) (Completed)

Chapter Fifteen- Pressure

Chapter Fifteen-

Frankie

This isn't how anything was supposed to happen. I knew it would get to be too much, but that didn't keep me from hoping that it would last. I don't know how to convince him that this stuff isn't his fault especially when everyone around me is saying that it is. I can't find the words to say to him, and I can't think straight long enough to come up with a plan. It all feels so hopeless.

I don't want space. I think he feels like once he's gone, I'll go back to normal. He thinks I'll be better off without him, but that's not true. This is my normal now.

Moth isn't changing me. I'm changing because I want to. I'm changing because I'm growing up. That's what I'm supposed to do with my teenage years, but of course, my family would rather shame me for growing than accept that it might be for the better.

I turn to look at them, Sawyer, Teagan, and Noel, and reach my hands up to wipe my face. He said just for a little while. I can deal with it. It only takes me a few seconds to pull myself together, and once I do, I lock eyes with Sawyer and glare.

This is his fault. It's always his fault. God, I'm so stupid for ever thinking he had my best interest in mind. He gave up his whole life to let us live ours, but just because he made that choice doesn't mean I have to live my life the way he wants me to.

"Are you happy now? Do you like seeing me like this?" I snap at him, not bothering to give him a chance to reply. "He doesn't want me anymore, so I guess you got what you want, right? Now I'm supposed to go back to being an obedient little puppy for you. I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut and work hard, so I'm not a burden on you anymore. You know what? I meant everything I said to our mom. You're a tyrannical dictator and I'm sick of you ruining my life."

"Frankie, that's enough," Teagan says. "You don't get to flip this on us. You're the one who ended up in a holding cell with him. That's not our fault."

I keep my eyes locked with Sawyers, waiting for his response instead. Teagan can't be bothered to stick up for me when he knows Sawyer is in the wrong so what reason do I have to listen to him now?

"I'm not going to argue with you about something so stupid. Of course, I'm not happy that you're upset, but things happen. You'll learn more when you grow up."

"Grow up? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Watch your language."

I smile, but I'm sure they know it's empty once I let out a humorless laugh. My eyes start welling up again, but I squeeze them together a few times to keep the tears at bay.

I can't believe I never realized that my whole life has been centered on making everyone else happy. Now that I've finally had happiness of my own, I don't want to give it up. I will never go back to how I was. Subservient, compliant, obedient. I don't want to do it anymore.

"Fuck you," I answer, walking past the three of them to leave the building. I turn out of the building and start walking toward our house on the sidewalk. I know how to get home from here. It may take an hour, but I'm not sitting in a car with them and acting like some happy little family. I refuse to let them have even more control over what I do. I'd rather walk.

I ignore the footsteps behind me as I march forward. I wrap my arms around myself, hugging tightly as the wind cools the tears streaming down my face.

"Franks, I know it's hard, but he's just one boy. You'll have plenty of other boyfriends." Noel assures me, though it doesn't make me feel any better.

They all managed to scare him off and somehow twist something so beautiful into something so dark. I hate that they made him feel so guilty that he thought he needed to leave. I hate that they have the audacity to look at me and lecture me like I'm a kid after all they know I've been through. They talk to me like I haven't been changing diapers since I was seven. 'When you grow up.' Yeah, like any of us had the luxury of getting to be a kid.