This Love Was Never Meant To Be (Ryan Seaman Love Story)

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

ALEX'S POV

I dropped the last of my boxes into my room in Tori and Jacky's apartment. I walked out to see them cuddled on the couch.

"Got all your stuff in?" Tori asked, looking over at me.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me stay here by the way."

"Not a problem." Jacky smiled. "Oh, are you coming to our concert tonight?"

"Nah, I think I'll just stay here and set up." I said and he just nodded, turning his attention back to the television. I sat down on the couch and watched TV with them until Jacky got up to get ready.

"Come on Tori!" Jacky called, walking into the living room.

"See ya Alex." Tori smiled, getting up and walking over to Jacky. I waved as they left, taking in the silence of the small apartment. After a while, I got up and decided to do at least a little unpacking. The first box I opened was my clothes, the second was my posters and the third was one that I hadn't seen since I moved to college.

I opened it and it was filled with the presents Ryan had given me while we were dating. I sighed and looked through the box, memories quickly coming back. I looked through and found the Green Day shirt from the concert, the pictures of Ryan and I with Green Day and one with just me with Green day, a heart shaped necklace with a diamond 'A' in the middle, my ticket and backstage pass from the concert, a photo strip of us from one of those photo booths, a white teddy bear and, finally, the Dookie CD he gave me the day I moved.

I opened up the CD and looked at the booklet, reading the note he wrote to me. I smiled and realized I had never actually listened to the CD. I dug through all of my boxes until I found my laptop and speakers. I powered it up and put the CD into the drive, allowing it to load. The first song came on, Burnout. I liked it but, my all time favorite song was number seven, Basket Case. I listened to the album on loop while I clutched my teddy bear in my arms and the necklace in my hand, looking at the pictures of Ryan and I.

"Alex." Tori said as she peeked her head in. I paused my music and looked up at her. "Are you okay, why are you crying?" She asked, kneeling down next to me. I touched my cheek and realized I had been crying.

"Oh, it's nothing." I chuckled, stretching.

"Where'd all this stuff come from?"

"High school." She looked at a couple of the pictures, shit.

"Is that Ryan?"

"No!" I exclaimed, grabbing the picture out of her hand.

"You dated Ryan?" I looked down and blushed.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" I asked and she nodded, thrusting out her pinky. I giggled and wrapped my pinky around hers. I handed the Dookie CD case to her and she opened it up, reading the note.

"Aww." She cooed.

"Shut up." I smiled.

***

I was rolling around in my bed, trying to get back to sleep but I just couldn't. All night, I was having dreams of Ryan. Soon, I just gave up on sleeping.

"I do not fucking love Ryan." I chanted to myself, pulling my hair. "Get your mind off of that boy Alex, he's history. Don't date him again, he's a rockstar now, what if he breaks your heart? What if he's changed." I sighed and picked up my phone, unlocking it to see it was only two am. Fucking hell. I wrote Jacky and Tori a quick note before picking up my keys and fleeing the apartment.

I got into my car and just drove. I didn't care where I was going, I just needed to clear my mind, get my mind away from everything. I ended up driving to the beach Ryan and I had our first date at and climbed up onto the rock, looking out at the beautiful ocean in the darkness. I listened to the waves crashing against the shore, the wind calmly blowing, causing my hair to flow around my shoulders.

I stood up and slipped off my sandals, emptying my pockets and taking my shirt off. I jumped off of the rock, doing a cannonball into the freezing ocean water. I swam around for a bit, quickly getting used to the water. Soon, I got out and sat back up on the rock, letting myself dry off for about an hour before pulling my shirt back on, grabbing my stuff and going back to my car. I got back in and drove back to the apartment, ripping the note off the door and quickly falling asleep.

I woke up and Ryan popped back into my head. I was close to ripping my hair out, I was so frustrated. I picked up my phone and decided to text the one person I could trust, Ron.

Alex~ Ron, I rlly need 2 tlk 2 u

Ron~ Ok...um... I guess just come ovr?

Alex~ Kay, I'll b rite ovr

I put my phone down and jumped into the shower, taking a quick shower and getting dressed. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and applied simple eyeliner and walked out of the apartment, grabbing my keys. I drove over to Ron's apartment, knocking on his door. He opened it and embraced me in a hug. He let me in and we both sat down on the couch.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" He asked, patting my knee.

"I wasn't able to get to sleep last night because... I kept having these dreams... about Ryan. See, I opened up a box of stuff from when we were dating and listened to the CD he gave me and...I don't know. I mean, I don't want to fall for him again because, what if I get heartbroken or something?" Ron sighed.

"Alex, I think you're just feeling this way because you came across that box of stuff. I don't think you're falling for him again, it's just your mind playing tricks on you. Just give it a few days." He said with a smile.

"Thanks Ron, I'll try it." I said, hugging him before leaving.

RON'S POV

I closed the door and slid down against it, covering my face with my hands. What have I done? When she said we need to talk, I thought we were going to get back together. She then told me she might still be in love with Ryan and my heart dropped. So, I told her she wasn't, because I was jealous, because I wanted her.

Oh God, what the fuck did I do? I may have just ruined my best friend's happiness! He's constantly telling me about how much he loves Alex. God I'm an idiot. A selfish idiot.

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defy_my_scars gave me the idea.

Listening to Walk A Little Straighter Daddy~ Billy Currington ------------->

NO IDEAS!

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