MADMAN'S HAVEN

55

Six months.

Six months since I first met him. Yet it felt like a lifetime.

So much had happened to both of us. We had been through so much together.

We were completely different people now.

We both changed for the better during our time together. We helped each other grow out of the darkness and gather the strength that was hidden so deeply inside. We helped each other to be healthy, to be living, to be loved...

He taught me so much, even though his experience of the world was a lot less than mine.

He taught me how to handle my emotions, how to deal with fright and terror as he approached me with his black eyes and threatening movements. He taught me how to handle my job, how to act and how to keep going even in the darkest of times when I was forced to witness obscene scenarios. He even taught me about myself, what I wanted and what I needed, what brought me pleasure and what brought me excitement. He taught me how to feel good, how to get me going, how to breathe out in sin.

But the most important thing. He taught me how to love. He was so tender, so devoted and passionate with every word and every touch. He knew exactly how to treat me to make me feel loved, he knew it from the very beginning...

Not only did he take care of me in my most vulnerable moments, when I would break down in tears or fold to the floor in weakness. He also took care of me when I needed nearness, when I was craving the most affectionate drug to rush my body. He was there all along. He brought me the rush instead of the deadly substances only by the use of his existence. His hands touched me, his skin grazed me, his arms embraced me, his lips kissed me... Everything about him fulfilled me.

I knew I could never be without him. I already tried. I tried for nearly three months, but ended up in destruction and deep depression. The absence of him brought me into the arms of a monster. A man who led me into a dangerous trap, a man who abused and raped me. The absence of him brought me back into drug abuse and I was high almost every day at my very important job. It made me sneak into the refectories to steal drugs that were meant for the mentally ill patients. It made me addicted for the second time in my life. The absence of him made me isolate from my friends and family. It made me hit rock bottom.

But as soon as I ran into his room that same day I found out about the connection between him and his victim Joseph Acker, every piece of destruction seemed to escape my body as I stood in front of him for the first time in months.

Even if he threw me out, and looked at me with disgust and hatred and disappointment, I still felt it again, and that was when I realized that no drug can cure love...

I was certain, that no matter what would happen between the two of us in the future, I would never leave him again. Brandon was not the only one in heavy need of care, because I was as well, of his care. I knew I could never bear being without him again, because that would lead to my downfall.

Without him, I would go under.

I had no idea what was next to come for us, but what I knew was that Brandon was going to be in here for a very long time, and I would be with him all along. All I had to do was make sure to do my job properly to keep being in charge of his treatment.

I would never allow him to be let into anyone else's hands.
That would drive me crazy. I would go completely mad.

It didn't matter to me what way I got to be with him, as long as I could just be with him.

It didn't matter if I was his nurse and he was my patient, it didn't matter if I would end up a supervisor or even the head nurse. It didn't even matter if I would end up locked in here myself.

Because I would never leave him.

THE END