MADMAN'S HAVEN

7

"I'll be right back,"

The insistent in my voice brought Mildred and Janet to expressions of confusion, and they both looked at me as I raised from the brown armchair and walked away without saying another word.

I was very well aware of what my unresponsive frame of mind was leading me towards, but my vanished sense of conceptualizing eventual consequences only drove me further towards the danger.

My legs carried me over the floor as I walked my way out of the crowded room and entered the hallway of the ward. My mouth savored the taste of blood as I bit my tongue so hard with the nervousness.

As I passed by every ward entrance, my heart skipped another beat to inform the brain that I was getting closer with every step. Somehow my brain managed to completely ignore the crawling anxiety since my urge of confront was so extremely acute.

My legs were almost rushing with desperate steps, and the fury grew inside of me to take over any emotion of fright.

I felt possessed.

I was just about to do something that I would so hardly regret afterwards. But there was nothing I could do about it now.

My drug-affected body used every sense to focus on the right way down through the narrow hallway.

I knew exactly which way I was going since I had been there so many times before, but my body was working so hard with getting there even faster this time.

I stopped in a sudden move with realization as I finally reached the final door. The sign over the door spelled the letters loudly inside of my head and I lost my breath for a short moment.

'Ward 5'

The feeling was too intense with reality.

What the hell was going on inside of me? How could I not realize what I was about to do?

This was just another sign of complete misery and insanity. I completely lost my mind somewhere along the way. It was just like something snapped inside of me the moment I got the overwhelming information from Harriet just hours earlier.

I walked through the double security lock of doors and slowly stepped inside the ward area. My ability to breathe was back and there was no sign of fright inside of me.

No matter how heavily affected my body was by the drugs, I still felt a strong abstinence for something. My body wasn't completely satisfied with the anodyne, I needed something more and my body began to search for what it was all on its own.

I had no control.

The corporal inside drove the peel of human with urge through the hospital mace like a magnet. I had no other choice than just to follow through.

Somewhere in the back of my head, someone tried to scream so loud with warning. But the far scream was soon overheard by the demonic voice of the abstention, and I got deeper into the seduction.

I counted the cellar numbers as I approached the hallway end, I was so close now.

I greeted the familiar faces of the broad institutional guardsmen, and as I reached the very end of the ward walls, I shyly opened my mouth to greet with the most common guard of them all.

"Hello, Frank,"

My voice came out stiff and short with words.

The broadly built man looked at me with surprise and moved in position where he stood in his uniform.

"Nurse Fraizer? What are you doing here?"

The confusion in his stern voice made me realize that I had to come up with a good answer to his question.

I was not allowed to be here.

"Medical protocol. I need to share a quick word with Mr. Barlowe,"

The determination made me sound convincing.

Frank strained his position.

"With respect nurse Frazier, I'm not sure I can let you in there,"

The frustration grew inside of me. I couldn't fail right at the finish line. I took a step forward and sighed loudly with irritation.

"Please!"

I looked up at the much bigger male in front of me without any warn of threat.

"It's important!"

Frank creased his dark eyebrows and looked back at me like I was playing with fire.

"He is not your patient anymore. I can't let you in there," His calm determined voice made me feel conquered.

I took a deep breath and looked down at the floor to break from his gaze filled with decision.

I refused to give up.

"He won't talk to anyone else,"

The truth in my much calmer use of words had Frank assured enough to look back at me in a hesitant way. He knew that it was true.

"Please, Frank,"

The desperation was about to take over me, but the last thing I wanted was to cause a scene.

Suddenly my heart skipped a beat when Frank sighed out loudly and reached for the keychain in his uniform trousers. He looked at me as he shook his head and slowly moved his hand towards the locker of the cellar door.

"Only because of the protocol,"

My eyes widened and I swallowed hard as the reality once again hit me like a light, but this time it was here to stay longer than just a few seconds.

My hands immediately turned humid with sweat.

There was no turning back now. I couldn't just run away from what I just forced Frank to do.

The lump in my stomach was heavy and the anxiety made me nauseous. Was I really just about to visit the murderer I was trying so hard to suppress?

The tears stung behind my eyes, but I needed to hold it all back. I didn't want to show any emotion in front of Frank, and not least in front of the creature that was hiding inside the door that was just about to be opened.

The grating sound from the heavy door tied my lungs. Frank's broad appeal covered the opening space and hid my appearance behind him as we both walked into the small room.

This was the last moment of oblivion.

As Frank took a step to the right, he revealed my presence and left me standing in the middle of the room like a mannequin.

I felt speechless as my eyes caught the scene.

The acquainted man sat peacefully on the window sill right before me in the cold room, his head was slanted out the window and he didn't react to our entry at first.

I could spot every detail from the curls in his neck, and his jawline appeared so sharp from the angle. It frightened me to know that I would get to lay my eyes on his face within any second. I didn't know how my body would react. Out of terror or out of affection?

My lips remained separated with the paralyze.

I knew that I had to come up with something to say before Frank would become hesitant and force me out of the room again.

The last thing I wanted was for him to be suspicious, or see right through me as I completely fell back into the deep dangerous affection. And to avoid that, I had to choose my words very carefully.