MADMAN'S HAVEN

43

Thursday, January 30th

The winter wind bit my skin as I walked beside Brandon over the snow-covered garden. My shoulders were up my ears, making my whole body tense from the freeze.

I grabbed my winter coat tighter against my body and crossed my arms hoping to collect some corporal heat.

"Are you really that cold, honey?" Brandon's words struck through my body and immediately I gathered a bit more warmth.

I glanced at him, widened my eyes before I looked behind us where Frank breezed along a couple of feet away. Completely unbothered by the cold and stuck up in his own mind, I noticed he didn't hear a word of what Brandon just said.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, and watched the cloud leaving through my mouth.

"You want my jacket?" He asked with a voice filled with sympathy. Yet he didn't want to appear too caring, which made the words leave his mouth in a murmur.

My heart skipped a beat and a slight giggle escaped my nostrils from his sudden sweetness, but I didn't want to make a deal out of it since I noticed it was hard for him to be so gentle and kind.

"Thank you, Brandon, but I would not like you freezing to death yourself," I stated, and smiled to leave the conversation there.

"It kills me watching you tremble like that," He decided to continue the romantic speech, and once again he managed to spread a warming wave inside of me.

His words brought me back to the times he himself made me tremble of fear or hurtful sorrow. But all of that was irrelevant now. It didn't matter, because he was not that person anymore.

"Well, as my cheeks are now burning hot thanks to you, you don't need to die for that reason either," I remarked, and winked at him within a smile. He smiled back, and I could tell it was genuine with the way the dimples drilled his cheeks.

His ocher eyes sparkled in the blue daylight, and for the third time in the span of only a minute, a storm of fire spread through my body and thawed my frozen veins, making my shoulders fall into place and relaxing my body from shaking.

With every passing day I could sense the goodness in Brandon even more. He was a real person in my nearness. A person with emotions, a person with desires and imaginations, a person with kindness and sense of humour.

He was turning into a human, slowly allowing himself to peel off the flesh of the monster everybody claimed him to be.

Of course he was still unstable, but nowadays because he was replete with emotions, and not the complete opposite.

I felt so happy. Finally his treatment was getting somewhere in the process and the hope inside of me still prayed that one day he would be healed. With a past like his he could never get completely healed, but he could get rid of the sickness and insanity. He could be healthy again. Like that boy so many years ago...

Passing by the corner to the hospital's north wing, Brandon carefully searched the big building with his eyes. He looked up, counted every window of the second floor.

At first I couldn't comprehend what he was doing, until I noticed he was searching for the window belonging to his own cellar. He knew it was here, somewhere on the north side. He knew what the nature looked like, he just never saw it from this angle before.

He stopped as he found the right one, and spared a couple of seconds just to look at me with a playful grin. I looked back at him, creasing my eyebrows since I couldn't understand at all what he was doing.

He took a tiny step to the left which brought him closer to where I stood in the snow, then he carefully leaned his head in my direction.

"Can you believe I fucked you against that window?" He whispered as he pointed up at the frosty pane. My whole heart fell into my stomach. My cheeks flared even worse than earlier and I had to bite my finger not to completely gasp out in shock and embarrassment.

My whole body pounded, my eyes being wide as ever, probably making me look stir-crazy. I couldn't come up with anything good enough to respond to that astonishing statement. He was just so impudent, still he made my heart bounce out of place by the sudden attraction. He knew exactly how to turn me on, I just never thought something like this would.

All that left my surprised self was just a heavy whiff of wind before I slammed my arm against him.

"Brandon!" I blurted between my teeth and looked at him with separated lips. But before Brandon had any chance to answer, Frank interrupted the moment with his coarse voice.

"Everything okay over there, Nurse Frazier?" He boomed from his distance, straining his face and posture to prepare for intervention.

I looked back at him, smiled gently and forced my laughter to stay underneath my chest.

"Everything is fine, Frank. Thank you!" I assured as I beamed back.

Turning my head back again, I couldn't help but laugh out the inner chaos as I glanced at Brandon still standing next to me. I was overwhelmed by this whole situation.

Brandon smiled as he looked at me, but the naughtiness still shined through his eyes. He enjoyed this, the way he managed to amuse me only with his words. It made him feel good.

"Don't you enjoy the imagination?"

I couldn't believe he continued further down this track. But since I was now settled from the surprise, I could indeed enjoy the pictures flashing through my head from yesterdays euphoric act.

"I do, Brandon," I said firmly.

"Good, so do I," He remarked, and traced his tongue over his full lips.

As so many times before in the company of Brandon, I learned that I could never expect what's next to happen. No matter the disused violence and rude, humiliating comments, he managed to surprise me in new ways every time, and I enjoyed it more than ever.

I wanted to see what was next to come. What would be the next move, the next word or expressed emotion? I couldn't get enough.

I had to get more, more of Brandon. This was my way of getting closer to him, getting to know him better, and it was all so filled with excitement.