Certainty | TSITP

F O U R T E E N .

"We're playing truth or dare?" Ana asked, sitting down with everyone on the blanket.

"Conrad?" Cam asked.

"I'm not playing."

"Oh, come on, dude. Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?" Cam pushed, laughing.

"...here honestly. Coming back to cousins. The Fourth of July barbecues, digging for clams, surfing with jere..."

"Making pomegranate margaritas." Belly laughed.

"Right, right." Ana smiled.

"I don't know, I just think whatever kind of shit you got going on, you just come back here and you forget about it." He finished.

"Most of the time." Ana mentioned, earning nods from everyone.

Steven sighed, "come on, man! No ones playing truth or dare right. It's either you go big or go home!"

"Agreed. This needs to get way more Euphoria." Taylor giggled.

"Okay... uh I'll give it a whirl!" Skye said, putting their hand over their eyes and pointing, "belly! Uh, I dare you to... kiss Jeremiah." They said, laughing.

Everyone went quiet. Skye didnt know about all the drama that had happened between everyone, obviously.

Conrad looked at Ana who was sitting next to him and put his hand gently on hers.

"Uh, yeah... okay." Jere scooted closer to the younger girl and kissed her gently, and quickly. And as soon as they pulled away belly looked to Conrad, who wasn't bothered at all.

He was only worried about his ex girlfriend.

"Uh... anyway. Cam." Ana started, faking a smile, "what's your biggest regret?"

"Id probably say... not spending enough time with my sister before she died." He said, and Ana's eyes went wide.

"I-I am so sorry." She said, sadly.

"It's okay, it's fine. It was ten years ago. She was sixteen. Um.. I was just a kid. I really looked up to her. I still look up to her." He admitted.

Everyone was quiet, Conrad watched as Ana wiped a tear way. He slipped his arm around her waist, trying to offer some sort of comfort.

"It's funny cause I... I also lost my sister." This threw the whole group, other than Conrad off. Jere didnt even know, "I was actually sixteen... she was eighteen."

"She had gotten really sick, and my dad swore it was a cold. After a week of just coughing constantly my mom took her to the hospital where we found out she had fluid in her lungs... she was alive for two months after we found out."

"I-I didnt know..." Jere whispered, his eyes full of tears, "Does it get easier?"

"Yeah." Cam nodded, "it's always there, I mean.. you know." He said, giving Ana the saddest look.

"The pain starts to, uh... you know, it's starts to feel more like a scar than it does a scab."

"Like sometimes something totally random would set you off." The two jumped back and fourth with their own experiences, both agreeing with each other.

Ana reached over and grabbed cams hand, squeezing it.

"I'm sorry." He said, squeezing it back.

Taylor started to yawn, making Ana and can pull away and start giggling.

"I'm sorry, Taylor. Where did we lose you there?" He laughed.

"Oh my god. No, you didnt lose me. Sorry... I really love talking about mental health. Like you should look at my tiktok. It's like seventy percent therapists. I'm just really fucking tired right now." She ranted.

"Yeah, I guess it is getting a little late." Jere smiled.

"I'll get the blankets..." cam said, as all the boys went to grab them and all the girls started to get comfortable.

"Thanks." Ana murmured, taking a blanket Conrad gave her, she watched as he was about to walk away but she stopped him, "can you.. maybe lay there?" She asked pointing to the spot next to her.

Conrad nodded, and started to set his stuff down. When he was all done, he laid down next to her, both of them far enough apart, but for some reason they felt so close.

They laid there both facing each other. Just admiring.

"Connie..." she started, sighing softly, "when I left cousins, I didn't want to go. It physically hurt me to leave you. And I know that it might seems ridiculous, but when u found out you and belly- I just, I felt like I wouldn't survive it."

Conrad watched as the girl started to play with the grass, "Lise... I only got with belly because of my mom."

The young girl looked at the boy, her breath hitching, "what did you just say?" She whispered.

"My mom, she was obsessed with the thought of belly ending up with one of her boys... we grew up hearing about it."

"Did she tell you to be with her? When I left?"

"God, of course not. She loved you... I just- I felt like I owed it to her." The boy sniffled just thinking about it.

He really did think he owed it to his mom. He thought that it was the only thing he could do before she passed that would make everything 'perfect'. But even Susannah was upset with him for leaving Ana. He just felt so stuck.

He thought he liked belly, but then realized he didnt. And then his mom said she would do treatment and for some reason, for some stupid reason, he decided to try with her.

The young girl didnt know what to say, or do. She was shocked that he would even admit something like that. And she was sad that everything happened the way it did.

"I'm so sorry, Lise." He croaked out.

She slid closer to him, making him lay on his back as she placed her head on his chest.

"I am too." She whispered.

She didnt know how she was supposed to feel.. but she also didnt know what she felt. It was too much to take in.