Lost Love

Chapter 1

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Mentions of Abuse

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P' Phayu: Are you busy tonight?

Rain: No P'. Why?

P 'Phayu: I have some free time tonight. Let's go on a date.

Rain: Really? Yes!

P' Phayu: I'll pick you up at 7.

Rain: OK! I love you!

P' Phayu: I love you too.

I haven't seen P' Phayu in 5 days, the longest five days of my life. He has been busy with a big project so I stayed away from him or I would end up distracting him. We have daily calls just to hear each other's voice; sometimes it's a quick 'I love you and miss you,'. We never miss a call with each other when we are apart.

I never realized how lonely I was until I met P' Phayu. Sure, I had Sky but it's not the same. Sky is my best friend and he does what he can to help and support me, but P' Phayu showed me love and understanding, something I didn't think was possible. He is also very patient with me, the most patient person I have ever met. I am not easy to deal with... I know I am annoying, needy and a little slow, but P' Phayu has stuck by me and even enjoys my clinginess. I'm the type that can't sit still, I believe that I might even have undiagnosed ADHD. Because of the way I am, I annoy a lot of people and I have never really had any meaningful relationships in the past. I only consider P' Phayu and Sky as the only ones that actually cared for me ( maybe even P' Pai, Sky's boyfriend). They are the only ones that know that I only act happy because I am masking the pain that I have been facing all my life. It's the best way I can deal with everything. Pretending that my life is perfect and that nothing bothers me, basically I run away from my problems.

The truth I tried to hide so much is that my dad hates me. My mother died giving birth to me so he blames me for her death. Her death devastated my father, he started to drink, leaving me with maids to raise me. I don't really remember my childhood, everything before 7 has been completely erased from my mind. My memories start at home when my father wakes me up with cold water and tells me to get in the car. The next day I was at school in what I suppose was a different city. I was so scared, I didn't even remember my name let alone my father. All I remember was having a really bad headache, I complained about it but my father said that if I didn't shut up he would make it hurt more so I left it alone. It was so hard for me to follow the lessons at school, I was labeled as stupid by my classmates and they only kept me around for entertainment. I never had a true friend until I met Sky.

When Sky found out that my father hit me, he was furious. He wanted me to report it to the police... but I refused. My father is rich and has a lot of connections. I was scared that he would be let free and it would only be worse for me. Sky didn't like that I wasn't reporting it but he accepted my decision. He invited me to stay with him whenever I wanted.

When P' Phayu found out... It was harsh. My father had beaten me a few days before and my body was still bruised. Normally I would stay far away from P' Phayu, but this time I missed him so much and I thought that if I just saw him from far away for a few seconds it would be fine. But I got caught. He ran to hug me but I flinched. Then he forced me to tell him what happened. He hugged me and promised that my dad was going to pay for hurting me, but I made him promise that he wouldn't. He was paying my tuition, and I needed his money right now. As soon as I got a job I would move out, but for now I had to stay. He made me promise not to go home. So since then I would sleep at P' Phayu's house or with Sky in his apartment.

That is where I'm currently at. Staying with Sky because P' Phayu is busy with work and doesn't need me to distract him. I have been so bored since Sky normally stays with P' Pai a lot. So I spend a lot of time alone, studying because we all know I need it.