⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ To live for the hope of it all ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚nine˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Ella's pov:

I sat on my bed, scrolling through the endless posts on my screen, there was a knock at my door. "Come innn" I say as I turn off my phone and place it face down to the side of me. Taylor walks in "Are you ready to order?" She asks with a smile, her hair dripping down her back. I nod and she walks over to my bed and sits on the end of it. I sit up and move closer to Taylor who had opened up the menu to a place she had suggested earlier. She scrolled through, giving me recommendations but I just looked at the one with the least amount of calories. I didn't even look at what the food was, I just saw the smallest number and agreed to it. "Sounds good, I'll order it and it should be here soon!" Taylor tells me smiling. I gave her a smile before she got up and squeezed my knee, "I'll call you when food is here." She tells me before giving me one of her loving smiles she always has when she's with me, nothing ever seems to wipe it away. I nod back looking into her eyes, you could see love and happiness beaming through them. She closed the door behind her and I sat staring at the door imagining her standing there, still smiling at me. I loved her smile, no one had ever looked at me with so much love ever.

About 30 minutes passed and I heard a knock at the door, the small conversation between a security and then the closing of the door. I got up out of bed, grabbed my phone and went downstairs. I walked into the kitchen, greeted my Meridith who was stood on the counter trying to get some food. Me and Taylor talked a bit and laughed. She handed me my food and we walked to the couch. I sat down next to Taylor, who grabbed a blanket and placed it over both of our laps. She turned on the TV, "What do you want to watch?" She asks me. "Emmm, how about Gilmore girls?" I reply. She smiles "Amazing idea, I love Gilmore girls so much!" She tells me with a smile while opening up Netflix. She presses play on the episode and we watched while eating our food. I ate around 3/4 of my food before deciding that I had eaten WAY too much. I placed the bowl on the table, Taylor soon was finished with hers and did the same. She put her arm around me and I lent back into her. The cats all cuddled around us and we all enjoyed the episodes. We watched 3 episodes before Taylor looked at the time and yawned, "I have lo bed spending this time with you, but I am sooo exhausted!" She tells me while getting up and grabbing the bowls. I yawned too and stood up. We both went into the kitchen, she put the bowls in the dishwasher and I got myself a glass of water.  "Night, I love you." I said to Taylor making her smile. She blew me a kiss, "I love you more, good night." She told me and with that I walked up the corridor into my bedroom. I sat into bed and fell asleep soon after.

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It had been around 6 weeks, I had been skipping more meals to try and be skinny. Luckily, Taylor hadn't realised anything, she was too busy trying to prepare for the tour in a few months. Any time I ate to much, I cut. My arms were full of deep scars that I deserved. I had started homeschooling and me and Taylor had been getting closer and I loved it so much. We spent nights together watching movies and spent days laughing together. Today we were going out to eat with Selena again and I was so excited to see her again, not so excited to be chased by paparazzi, or to be eating. All of my new clothes had come 2 weeks ago so my closets contents had grown largely. I walked into my closet and looked around. I decided on a black, square neck, long sleeved mini dress which I paired with my converse to dress it down. I put on the outfit and looked at myself in the mirror. There was definitely a noticeable weight loss but it wasn't enough, the scales told me I was 106lbs when I had checked last night. I had already checked the website of the place we were going to and checked the menu, I was having the salad. I sat down at my vanity and decided to curl my hair. Taylor had taught me how the other day and I loved how it made my hair look. I turned on the curlers and brushed my hair and sprayed it with heat protectant while waiting for the curlers to heat up. Once the curlers were ready I began to do my hair, fighting the urges in my head to just burn myself with it.