⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ To live for the hope of it all ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚eight˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⚠️TW: ED ( will most likely mentioned in most chapters from now DO NOT RECOMMENDED READING ON IF THESE THINGS TRIGGER YOU) ⚠️

Ella's pov:

I got out of the shower, turned the music on my phone down as it didn't need to be heard over the shower anymore and wrapped a towel round me. I picked up my phone and walked from the ensuite back into my bedroom. I looked at the bed and there was a pile of clothes placed on it with a yellow post-it stuck on top. I went over to read it, still wrapped in a towel with my hair dripping. The note said 'Wanted to make sure you had some clothes to wear, hope they fit you alright. Good night, love you xx - Taylor'. I gave the note a smile before placing it to the side to see the clothes left. There was a few hoodies, jumpers, some joggers and some bike shorts. I grabbed a black hoodie and black bike shorts and put them on. I went and placed the rest away in my closet before climbing into bed. 

I sat in bed and opened up my phone, there was a message from Taylor. I opened and read it - "Great music taste by the way 🤣" the message said. How embarrassing, Taylor had heard me blasting her songs in the shower. I paused at the message before sending a laughing face back. I then pulled open twitter and went through the comments of the post Taylor had made. Surprisingly, all of the comments were positive, excluding the handful that said it was a publicity stunt. I smiled a the comments saying how excited and happy they were. I swiped off twitter and went onto tiktok. The first video I saw was a video about me and Taylor. There was a picture of me and Taylor taken by the paparazzi when we were going to the car to head to the restaurant today. The person had pointed out how fat my thighs were and suggested that I wore jumpers to 'cover my fat self' from the world. The comments agreed. My smile wiped off my face as tears fell from my eyes. I threw my phone to the end of my bed and ran into the bathroom. I picked up a blade from its hiding spot, rolled up my sleeve and before giving it a second thought, I pressed hard into the layers of skin and watched blood pour out of my arm. My back slid down the bathroom door as I sobbed as quietly as I could. I pressed harder and harder with each cut, making blood run off my arms and form a puddle on the floor. 

After a while, I felt so emotionally exhausted, I was so numb, I couldn't feel anything. I managed to get myself off the floor and over to the sink where I cleaned my cuts with warm water. I placed a bandage, which I had found in one of my bathroom drawers, round my arms. I pulled my hoodie up so that I could examine my stomach in the mirror. I grabbed it with my hand a looked at it with disgust. The comments had been right, I was definitely too fat. I ran out of my room and into the gym where I knew Taylor kept the scale, I made sure to be quiet as I knew Taylor was asleep now. I stepped onto the scale: 128lbs. I placed the scale back where I had got it from and ran back to my room before getting back into bed and googling the average weight for a 15 year old.

Taylor's pov:

My alarm went off. I grown to myself before reaching over to my alarm to stop it and slowly get out of bed. I say good morning to the cats on the end of my bed before sitting down and brushing my hair. I was so excited to go out with Ella today, I hope she was just as excited as me. I finished brushing my hair and got up and went into my closet to look for an outfit to wear. My phone began to buzz with messages, but I ignored it while I looked for what to wear, presuming that it was nothing important. As I was still looking through my heeps of clothes, my phone began to ring. I walk back into my room and pick it up. It's my mum. What does she want? I answered the phone, "Hey mum, what's up?" I ask her. "Me and your dad are on our way to New York right now, I know it's short notice but we need to have a few meetings with the others about the tour, it's happening so soon." She tells me. I sigh. "Me and Ella were going to go shopping today though!" I tell her, still disappointed. "I'm sorry love, but this is really important you are going to have to push your shopping to another day." She says sympathetically. I sigh again. "Message me the times, I'll meet you there. Love you." I tell her and hang up.